Hooker blew out a sigh. “Darlin’, unless you want to be a Mini Cooper accessory for the rest of your life, you’re going to have to get cut free.”
“Can’t you just drive me to a hair salon?”
Hooker looked out at the two cops. “Do you guys know of any all-night hair salons around here?”
They mumbled something about me being a nut and shook their heads.
“Fine. Great. Cut me free,” I said. “What am I worried about? I haven’t had a good hair day since I’ve been in this state. It’s a swamp for crying out loud.”
“That’s real negative,” the first cop said. “It’s hard to live with a woman who’s negative. Maybe she’s not the one, you know what I mean? You’re a NASCAR guy. You can probably have anyone you want.”
Hooker sawed at my hair with the knife. “Just a little bit more… oops.”
“What oops?” I asked. “I don’t like oops.”
“Did I say oops? I didn’t mean oops. I meant thank goodness you’re untangled.” He handed the knife back to the cop “Now all we have to do is get you to sit up.”
“My leg is caught on the steering wheel and my foot is asleep.”
The first cop ran around to the other side of the car to help get my leg free. And the second cop opened the passenger-side door, grabbed me under my armpits, and pulled me out.
“This is a little embarrassing,” I said to the two cops, “but thanks for the help.”
I got back into the car, buckled my shoulder harness, and gave Hooker a death look. “This is all your fault.”
Hooker gave the Mini some gas and motored out of the alley, down the street. “My fault?”
“You started it all with that kiss.”
Hooker smiled. “It was a pretty decent kiss.”
“Sure, easy for you to think that. You didn’t get your hair caught.”
“Seems like it’s a good idea to be on top when you’re having car sex.”
“Do you have a lot of car sex?”
“Yeah, but I’m usually alone.”
“I’m afraid to look in the mirror. How bad is my hair? It looks like there’s an awful lot of it stuck in the handle.”
Hooker cut his eyes to me and ran off the road onto a lawn. He made a fast correction and was back on the road. “It’s not bad.”
“You just ran off the road.”
“I
was…distracted.”
I reached for the mirror on the sun visor and Hooker knocked my hand away.
“Don’t do that. You don’t want to look,” he said. He grabbed the visor and gave it a twist and snapped it off at the pivot point. He powered his window down and threw the visor out the window.
My eyes were wide. “You just broke my brother’s car!”
“Darlin’, your brother’s car is a wreck. He’ll never notice the missing visor.”
I put my hands up to feel my hair.