I parked in the area reserved for customers, and Lula and I went searching for Sklar.
'This here's a butt-ugly showroom,' Lula said. 'They should buy some new carpet. And what's with the nasty plastic chairs? For a minute there I thought I was back at the office.'
A guy in a sports coat ambled over, and it took me a moment to realize it was Marty Sklar. He was shorter than I remembered. His hair was balding. He was wearing glasses. And his six-pack stomach had turned to a keg. Marty wasn't aging well.
'Stephanie Plum,' Marty said. 'I remember you. Joe Morelli used to write poems on bathroom walls about you.'
'Yeah. I'm living with him now.'
Sklar touched his index finger to my lip. 'Then all those things he said must be true.'
He'd caught me flat-footed. I wasn't expecting the touch. I slapped his hand away, but it was too late. I had Marty Sklar cooties on my lip. Yuk. I needed mouthwash. Disinfectant. I was going to rush home and take a shower. Maybe two showers.
'Hey,' Lula said. 'Don't you touch her. Did she say you could touch her? I don't think so. I didn't hear her give you permission.
You keep your nasty-ass hands to yourself.'
Sklar cut his eyes to Lula. 'Who the hell are you?'
I'm Lula. Who the hell are you?'
`I'm Marty Sklar.'
'Hunh,' Lula said.
I tried not to think about the lip cooties and pushed forward.
'Here's the thing, Marty. I want to talk to you about Sally Sweet.'
'What about him?'
'I thought you might want to drop the charges. It turns out he's hired a really good lawyer. And the lawyer's found a bunch of witnesses who've officially stated you came on to Sweet.'
'He hit me with his guitar.'
That's true, but I thought you might not want it to go public about the sex thing.'
*What sex thing?'
The witnesses said you wanted to have sex with Sally.'
That's a lie. I was just busting his balls.'
It's not going to sound like that at the trial.'
Trial?'
'Well, he's got this lawyer now. And all the witnesses
'Shit.'
I looked at my watch. 'If you move fast and make a phone call you can stop the process before it gets out of control. Probably your father-in-law would be upset to learn that you propositioned a transvestite.'
`Yeah,' Lula said. That's like a double cheat. You were gonna cheat with a guy in a dress. Father-in-laws hate that.'
'What's the name of this hotshot lawyer?' Sklar asked.
'Albert Kloughn.'