The Mixtape

I moved in closer to him and slightly brushed my lips against his, and the small graze sent a ripple throughout my whole system. My lips crashed against his. I kissed him hard at first, and then a gentleness fell over me. His lips tasted like every dream come true, and I loved the way he kissed me back. He kissed me as if he’d missed me for decades before we’d met. His kiss felt like a promise that I needed to feel. As he pulled back, I met his stare and gave him a small smile.

“I’m yours, please stay, and please kiss me again,” I whispered, and then he did.

I didn’t know how long our lips stayed together, or how long it was until exhaustion fell over us. All that I knew was that in his arms, I felt comfort; in his arms, I felt safe.

As my eyes faded shut, and his closed, too, I dreamed of him saying he loved me.

In my dreams, I whispered back that I loved him too.

30

EMERY

The next morning, I knew I needed to talk to Sammie, and I knew exactly where I’d find her—down at the church getting ready for morning Bible study. It didn’t take much effort to find out where she’d be in a small town like Randall. All I had to do was ask around, and I quickly received my answers.

I arrived before the church service had begun, and I found Sammie in one of the classrooms, preparing for her lesson. She hadn’t noticed me, as she was busy flipping through paperwork, so I stood in the doorframe and knocked on the wall.

The moment she looked up, she dropped the papers in her hands, which went scattering across the room.

“Emery,” she whispered, her voice in pure shock. She looked as if she’d seen a ghost, and in some ways, she had. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Are you kidding me, Sammie? What are you doing here?” I barked, stunned. I hated the fact that a part of me wanted to hug her, to embrace her, to cry, knowing she was alive and well. Another part of me wanted to cuss her out. “You told me you went off to start a new life. You didn’t tell me that you came back here. Each time we talked, you were somewhere new. How could you do that? Why would you keep it from me that you came back here? Did you ever even travel at all?”

Her eyes showed the truth. She hadn’t. She’d run straight home all those years ago. I was going to be sick.

“I . . . it’s . . .” She swallowed hard and glanced over my shoulder as if she was afraid of someone overhearing our conversation. “It’s complicated.”

I closed the door behind me and walked into the room in her direction. “You ran back to Mama and Dad right away, didn’t you?”

“I had to, Emery. You don’t understand. I had nothing.”

“You had me!”

“Not really. And I get it. It was easy for you to walk away from Mama and Dad, but I’m not like you. My relationship with them was good before I made a mistake.”

“You didn’t make a mistake—you were raped, Sammie.”

She cringed at my words before breathing in deeply. “Yes, well, that was a long time ago, and it’s something we don’t talk about anymore. So, yeah. I have to get ready for class.” She went to pick up the paperwork, and I was so confused. What was going on? She was acting like a weird Stepford wife, moving as if she had no real emotions and acting as if her abandoning me and Reese five years ago wasn’t a big deal.

“Sammie, you left Reese. You left me. We struggled for years trying to keep our heads above water, and you walked away and came home. You could’ve reached out and told me. You could’ve given us help somehow.”

She blinked a few times before shaking her head. “I made the best choice I could, Emery. That’s all I could do.”

“And Mama and Dad were fine with you abandoning Reese?”

Her brown eyes glassed over before she went back to picking up the pieces of paper. “It doesn’t matter what they think.”

“Well, they seemed pretty shocked when they saw Reese in town yesterday.”

“What? They saw her?” Sammie gasped. “No . . . no . . .”

“Yes. And they were stunned. They said you told them you lost the baby. They didn’t even know she existed.”

Sammie wasn’t listening to me. She wasn’t taking in the words that I was saying. “Reese is here? In Randall?”

“Yes . . .”

“No one can know I had that baby, Emery. Do you understand? No one can know. It would ruin my world. Mama and Dad would flip out. I told them I lost the baby, and that’s why they took me back in. They said it was God’s way of healing me.”