That would never happen. Whoever this guy was, he would never have what we did.
CHAPTER FIVE
Shaw
I hated to admit it, but I spent the whole afternoon obsessively checking my Charades & Sexcapades email for a message from ILWMBF. Honestly, I didn’t know why I enjoyed him or why I cared if he messaged back or not, but I did. He was… Well, joking and chatting with him was fun and I was bored, so I guessed it made sense.
A small part of me wished I could meet him. That would likely never happen. Hell, I didn’t even know where he lived. There was a whole wide world out there, and he could be anywhere. That was how it was supposed to be. I was anonymous for a reason—basically because I didn’t want anyone to know, but still, that was a reason.
Even outside of my desire to keep my identity secret, it would ruin it if we met, anyway. Like I told him in my last message—that six hours later, he still hadn’t responded to—at least we had our emails.
And yes, I was maybe a little bitter not to have gotten a response.
I went to the gym in our building and got a workout in. When I got back to my apartment, I stripped out of my shirt, took a photo of my chest, and posted it on Instagram—my real one. Anonymous didn’t have one. The likes and comments began flooding in, which was good for a guy’s ego. It was brutal out there, and even though it was artificial, social media made me feel good sometimes.
When a vomiting face popped up in the comments, I rolled my eyes at Will.
You’re jealous I’m prettier than you, I replied, and he sent me the middle-finger emoji.
I took a quick shower, tugged on a pair of sweats, and ordered from my favorite Italian place for dinner.
I sat down on my beige couch, which in some ways had been a mistake because it was hard as hell to keep stains out, but I also dug light colors in my place, so I made it work. My laptop was on the cushion beside me, so I put it on my thighs and decided to pull up my Charades & Sexcapades email before getting some actual work done.
When I saw a response from ILWMBF, my stupid mouth curled up in a grin.
Anon,
I’m freaking the hell out here. That isn’t easy for me to admit. I have control issues, if you couldn’t tell. Anyway, I’m getting off-track. D came to my work and asked me to go to lunch with him. D is the guy. I can’t remember if I told you that already. I digress again. So D comes to take me to lunch. One would think that’s a good thing, correct? I did, and it was for a few minutes…then it wasn’t…and then it was again, but not enough that I could forget what had happened while we were walking to Raving Ramen.
My eyes went wide, and I sat up. Noooo. It couldn’t be…could it? ILWMBF was in Atlanta? I assumed Raving Ramen was a chain, but honestly, I’d never taken the time to look into it. I knew where the one on Ivy Street was in Midtown, so that was where I went when I craved ramen.
Even if he was in Atlanta, he’d have no way of knowing who I was, or I who he was, so I ignored my rapidly speeding pulse and continued reading.
Brilliant me decided to ask him about Dude Who Shall Not Be Named (I’d call him that even if I did know his name, which I don’t). And you know what he said? That he likes him. He fucking told me he likes him! This has never happened before. I’m in uncharted territory or waters or whatever the hell.
He did tell me he wasn’t in love with him, that he only thought he liked him and he didn’t know why, so that’s a good sign, right? If it’s not, lie to me. No, never mind, don’t. I need to know the truth. Actually, do. Or, don’t let me know what you’re doing.
I can’t believe I’m typing all this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But afterward, he also told me I’m stable and his constant and he didn’t know what he would do without me. That has to be more important than some rando, doesn’t it?
ILWMBF
So basically, he was fucked. ILWMBF was so friend-zoned, it wasn’t even funny. His man had told him he was into someone else and had called him boring, all in one conversation. I felt for the guy, I truly did, but the thing was, my gut told me he wasn’t really in love with D. That maybe he wanted to be. I knew he wanted someone, and they were obviously close. I’d seen it too many times to count. Friendship oftentimes blurred the lines, and people thought there was more, only to realize there wasn’t. That might not be the case here, but again, gut. Mine was pretty fucking good.