And strangely, I was completely invested in this in a way I never was with people who messaged me. I wanted him to be happy, even if it included the L word, but then, I kind of didn’t want it to work out because it felt wrong. Which maybe made me an ass, and maybe it was because I enjoyed talking to him, which was all sorts of confusing, so I decided not to think about it at all.
Or look up Raving Ramen to see how many locations they had and where.
I was not going to do that because I did not care if ILWMBF was in Atlanta. I didn’t. For reals.
ILWMBF,
Relax, slow down some. It’s okay. We’re going to figure this out. I feel like I’m in this now. Oooh, maybe we can have a threesome!
I’m kidding. Don’t freak out. I’m trying to make you smile, and I promise I won’t ask if I did, because I know it’s probably hard to lie in the moment when your emotions are all over the place .
I’m going to get real for a second. You really, really think you love this guy? That it’s not just some weird thing?
Anon
Yeah. He’s my best friend. And he’s always been there for me. Didn’t we go over this? D has always stuck by me, even when I’m annoying or when people don’t get me, or us. He’s there. I don’t know what I would do without him, and he feels the same on that last part. He said so, remember?
ILWMBF
ILWMBF,
I’m saying this with all due respect, but…that sounds like friendship. Maybe they’re the same and I haven’t realized it yet, but all those things you said, I feel those with my best friend too, and I don’t want to be with him forever and ever, ya know?
But I won’t bring that up again. You know how you feel, so I’m going to repeat my initial advice.
Tell. Him. How. You. Feel.
Sounds like he loves you, even if it’s not in the way you want him to. And maybe it is, I don’t know…but maybe it’s not. Regardless, he cares about you. He would do anything for you, that’s what you said. I don’t think he’s going anywhere if you tell him how you feel. He’s not going to run. It might be awkward (sorry, I’m a fan of the truth), but you guys will be okay, and that’s the only real way to know how he feels.
You can do this!
Anon
Honestly, I felt like a bit of a fraud. All that talk about it looking like friendship and I didn’t want to be with my bestie forever and ever, yes, it was true, but it hadn’t always been. Not with Will, but with someone else. Which might account for why I was so invested in this thing with ILWMBF and D. For me, it had been a crash-and-burn, but hopefully D was a better man than Richie had been.
Nope. Wasn’t going there tonight. Or ever.
I read over my email, wanting to make sure I got it right before I hit Send. There was a good chance ILWMBF wouldn’t reply again. I wasn’t sure he would appreciate my truth bomb about D not feeling the same, but I would be doing him a disservice if I didn’t say it. And I didn’t want the guy to get hurt. He’d won me over, damn it.
When a new message popped up, I clicked it.
I can’t. I’m scared. God, I’m glad you don’t know who I am. I would never admit that out loud, but I’m scared out of my sweet, gay mind. Oooh! I forgot to tell you something. D also said he enjoys the chase, and that he thinks he might be into this dude because the guy isn’t as interested in him, that he’s actually making D work for it. He’s always been that way. I don’t get it. I’m sure you’d get it, the whole playing-games thing and wanting people who don’t want you and not wanting people who do.
Anyway, I’m taking that as a good sign.
ILWMBF
I shook my head and chuckled. This guy was going to be the death of me. Thank God, I didn’t really know him.
First, are you back to insulting me? You want my advice, but you’re not very nice to me. My feelings are hurt again. I don’t know why I put up with this. You clearly don’t take our relationship as seriously as I do.
I’m hurt.
Really.
Can you hear my heart breaking from wherever you are?
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way (because truth is important! Hint, hint!), if he likes the chase, make him chase. Seeing him into someone obviously sent you in a downward spiral to freakoutville. Maybe it’ll do the same for him. Jealousy is a strong emotion, my sweet summer child. This is literally déjà vu from our first messages. Goddamn, I’m smart.