“Shaw,” Eli said softly, which made me realize I’d actually said it out loud.
“It’s fine.”
“You’re sweet. You weren’t supposed to be sweet.” He sounded as twisted up about all this as I felt, but then…then he reached over and tangled his fingers with mine. As much as I’d fucked around with people in my life, I’d never walked through a park simply holding hands with them. Maybe as a teenager or something, I couldn’t remember, but not as an adult.
“Right back at ya,” I replied.
“We’re ridiculous.”
“So fucking obnoxious. I blame you.”
“Of course you would. But I know the truth. It’s your fault.”
“For being so irresistible?” I stopped and looked at him. His lips were wet as if he’d licked them recently, and he was so damn kissable. I wanted to lower my mouth to his and taste him right there.
I didn’t have the chance, though, because Eli pushed up on his toes and kissed me. There was no tongue. It wasn’t a particularly sexy kiss, and it sure as shit wasn’t an I-want-you-now kiss, but it felt good all the same. Maybe perfect. “Come on.” I tugged on his hand to get us moving again.
“So you like photography, but it’s not your passion? It’s not what you want to do?”
“You do realize that most people don’t have a job that’s their passion, right?”
He rolled his eyes. “No shit. But you should at least know what it is, what you want. It surprises me about you, actually. You’re so good at telling other people what they should do and calling them on their shit, but you don’t do it for yourself.”
“That’s called being human, E. No one does that shit. It’s a whole lot easier to focus on other people than yourself.”
“Well, now you have someone who is going to focus on you.”
Damned if I didn’t want to thank him, if it didn’t mean something to me. Instead I pulled away and took a photo of him, then another and another. In some he was trying to get me to stop or I’d catch him laughing, but other times he was looking at me like…well, I couldn’t really say. Like I was a puzzle he was trying to put together, that he wanted to see the full version of.
We kept walking and talking. Not about my passions anymore, but about random shit. This butterfly that landed on a flower, which I got a shot of. Our parents and family. I told him my mom and dad were planning to have dinner and talk, which meant Mom would be going back home. He told me one of his cousins wanted nothing to do with him because he was gay.
Eventually, Elijah grabbed my hand again and tugged me over to a tree, in the grassy area. There were people within sight but none too close—picnics and barbecues, couples lounging, a group playing football.
“Okay, it’s time to figure this shit out,” Elijah said, pulling a blanket from his bag and laying it out. He also pulled out an insulated lunch box that had fruit, cheeses, and meats, then some water and a notebook and pen.
“Wow…you are prepared.”
“You doubted me?”
“Nope,” I answered honestly.
We sat down and began eating. Eli asked me questions about things I liked and didn’t like, making a list. When we finished all the food, I pulled the notebook out of his hand. “I’m tired.”
“We haven’t done anything yet.”
“I’m still tired. I didn’t sleep very well. There was an annoying twink on my mind.”
He grinned. “Oh really? That’s interesting. Tell me more.”
“No, pet me instead,” I teased, lying down and putting my head in his lap. I was surprised when he began running his fingers through my hair.
“You’re pushy.”
“Are you just realizing this?”
He gave me a smile that was big and bright enough to knock me on my ass if I hadn’t been lying down. “No,” he answered.
“That’s what I thought.”
He kept playing with my hair, and I let him. Watched him. Savored it. Wanted to run away. Wanted to stay.
“You are too beautiful for your own good,” I admitted. “This would have been easier if you weren’t.” He bit his lip and fluttered his lashes. “I made you blush,” I sang playfully, but he just danced his fingertips over my cheekbones.
“These fucking kill me. You have great bone structure…and this.” He touched my jawline. “It’s like someone sculpted your face from stone or something.”
“And this is a good thing?” I joked.
“Stop trying to get more compliments out of me.”
He resumed playing with my hair as we talked. I didn’t know how long it was before he said, “I’m having dinner with Danny tomorrow night.”
My stomach tensed, and there was a burning sensation in my chest. “I’m sure that’ll be a blast. He has such a winning personality.”
“Be nice.” He flicked my earlobe.