“Ouch. You be nice.”
Elijah didn’t respond to that. Instead he said, “I know we’re just hanging out…but I need to tell him about us—it, this.”
I laughed. “Well, usually I don’t make a habit of telling people when I’m hanging out with someone, but I told Will too, and I can see why you need to tell Danny.” I definitely wanted Danny to know. I wanted to claim Eli even though he wasn’t mine, but part of me also worried that Danny could get jealous, that maybe it would make him realize he had feelings for Elijah.
And although he now said he wasn’t in love with Danny, I worried Elijah would still choose him. And that he should.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Elijah
It was stupid that I was nervous to tell Danny about Shaw. I mean, it was just a thing, and Danny and I were best friends. He didn’t know I’d thought I was in love with him and that I was a little confused as to how I knew I wasn’t anymore or why I’d thought I was.
But I was nervous, and as the day went on, I recognized why.
Telling Danny about Shaw made it more real. It already felt more real than it was supposed to. I wasn’t in love with Shaw or anything like that, but I liked him way more than I should. Yesterday at the park had been…hell, I couldn’t remember ever having a date that was that much fun or enjoying another person’s company as much as I had Shaw’s. At least no one I was hanging out with.
Ugh, there was that term again. It was one I hated but also would be smart to remember. Shaw wasn’t looking for anything serious, and I wasn’t looking for anything serious with Shaw. I wasn’t! Every so often he would look at me, or I would look at him, and I’d forget that. Or he’d talk about his parents or Richie and I’d grasp how lucky I was to see that side of him, and I’d forget. My sanity always returned, though.
I took care of all my responsibilities for the day. Danny texted at one point to tell me not to cook, that he was bringing dinner over.
I got home from work, showered and changed, then sat on the couch with my phone. There was no reason I needed to text Shaw, but I found I wanted to…just to check in, ya know? Hey, you.
Hi. Miss me already? I’m way more fun than Danny.
Be nice.
You’re always telling me that.
I sighed, but the truth was, I got it. I would be jealous if Shaw was with someone he thought he had been in love with, even though we were only hanging out. I’ll call you after…and we can chill if you want.
I’ll be with Will. A stab of disappointment pierced my chest, but then he added, We’ll probably be done early, though… And damned if I didn’t smile after that. Stupid Shaw making me stupidly like him.
Don’t change plans for me though. I don’t know how long we’ll be. Talk soon.
Soon, he answered.
There was a knock at my door before Danny came inside. He had a pizza in his hand, and my stomach growled at the scent of tomatoes, garlic, and cheese. “Oh my God. I’m so hungry.”
“I got your favorite,” Danny said. “All those veggies. Looks like a salad. Pizza’s not supposed to look like a salad.”
I laughed and stood up. “You didn’t have to get a veggie pizza.”
He set it on the table. “I don’t mind.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d done that, and I didn’t think it would be the last.
We grabbed plates and cups for the soda he brought with him before settling in on the couch. We talked about random things. Every so often I looked at him, waiting for that fluttery feeling in my chest or the want I’d felt to return, and it wasn’t there. In some ways it was a relief, but in others, it kept making me question myself. I thought I’d been in love with Danny, but I hadn’t been. How could I screw that up? I also liked Shaw. Did that mean I didn’t really like him either? Which should be a relief, but it wasn’t.
“Okay, spill. What’s going on? You’re giving me that look like you’re confused and want to say something but don’t know how to say it.”
“You got all that, did you?” He was right of course, but still.
“Yes, I did. I know you, and you have something on your mind. What’s up?”
I set my plate on the coffee table. “I, umm…have a thing…with Shaw.”
“Oh… Okay. A few days ago you said you were only friends.”
“I know! And I don’t really get it. We were, and in a lot of ways I guess we still are, but we’re also hanging out.”