“I don’t know why I put up with either of you. I’m going to ballet.” Elijah stood, kissed Shaw, grabbed his bag, and walked out.
I closed my eyes, thought about Jameson and how I’d felt when I was driving away from his condo. My professor was teaching me a lesson I didn’t think I was ready to learn, because a tiny part of me thought Elijah and Shaw might be right.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” I asked Shaw.
“There’s nothing you can do, bro. Just hold on for the ride.”
I sighed. Fling, fling, fling, I told myself. It’s just a fling.
As long as I focused on that, I would be okay. I had to be.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jameson
“I brought pizza!” Kira said as I let her into my condo. It was the first time we were seeing each other since I walked out on my dad’s party last weekend.
“It smells so good.” I kissed her cheek, then closed the door behind her. She took the food into the kitchen, set the box on the counter, and automatically headed to the cabinet for the plates. She grabbed one for each of us, handing me mine. Once we had our food and drinks, we went straight for the couch.
“So…what are we starting with? Me and Ali, or you and Will?” She nibbled a slice. Kira wasn’t a nibbler. I knew her well enough to know that meant she was nervous. I hated the thought of her being edgy around me. Why did this have to get weird? We were best friends, but damn, I guessed any relationship could be complicated.
“You and Ali.”
“How did I know that was going to be your answer?”
“Because you know me?”
She smiled, took a bite, chewed. “I do.”
The thing was, it had always just been me and Kira. Of course there had been other minor friendships that had come and gone over the years, but no one stuck. No one spent as much time with us until Ali. Maybe it made me a dick, but I wasn’t used to sharing Kira, and I worried that maybe this would be where she left me behind. I’d always worried that time would come.
“It’s hard to explain, Jay,” she finally said. “It’s not something I ever considered—being with a girl or being with Ali. She was just…my other best friend. Like I said, we’ve been hanging out more, just the two of us. Even before that, Ali was always different from any other friends we’ve had. You know that.”
I nodded.
“She fits with us. Then we made that pact and, well, she and I were together one night. We were watching a movie, and I was cuddled up with her, like I do you. Hell, like I’ve done with her before, but it felt…different, and I couldn’t make out why. She had her arm around me, and she was playing with my hair, and it felt good. It felt right. Then suddenly she grabbed the remote, turned the TV off, and told me she had feelings for me, that she had for a while, and we’d talked about making this the perfect summer, and for her, that meant being with me. Everything just…fell into place. Like all the puzzle pieces moved around and formed a picture I realized had been there all along.”
“But you didn’t tell me?” I tried not to sound like a dick.
“Have you told me everything about you and Will?”
“No, but Will and I are different. It’s only a fling. He’s going to walk away from me at the end of the summer. You and Ali will still be together.” And I would be alone. Ugh. Emotions sucked. Logically, I knew I would never lose Kira, and I loved Ali too, I did, but my brain liked to play tricks on me.
“Yeah, we’ll be together, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ll never lose me. You’re my brother from another mother. My boy. My bestie. That’s never going to change.”
I took a bite of my pizza, my eyes darting away. I was being stupid and knew it.
“Plus, maybe you and Will won’t end this either, and don’t think I didn’t catch how you said he’d walk away from you. It might not be that way. You’re so damn crazy. Why don’t you see how awesome you are? Boy would be a fool to walk away from you.”
I dropped my head back and fake-cried, “Don’t tell me that. Don’t get my hopes up. I fucked up.”
She set her plate on the coffee table and faced me with her legs crossed. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. Him working for Crane Entertainment was a huge blow. We decided we were going to stop this…thing we’re doing. It feels weird to me having him close to Dad, hearing Dad rave about him, and I also don’t want to cause problems for him at his job if Dad finds out. But then…then I…” Well, this was awkward. My face heated.