She rubbed her nose against his.
“I know.”
“So much,” he said, swallowing. “I should probably postpone this now but… I don’t feel as if I can wait another minute.”
“What?”
“Lie back against the sofa and shut your eyes.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“Don’t stress, Ness.”
She smiled at his familiar catchphrase and did as he’d asked. Oh, how comfortable it was, after the tense day she’d had. She felt her neck muscles unwind, as if her body knew it could trust Ben.
“I booked a really nice restaurant for tonight,” he said softly. “Don’t—don’t say anything. It’s okay. I’m not pissed off. We can go there another time, any time we like.”
“Which one?”
“That one at the Mandarin Oriental.”
“Oh, such amazing views. I love it there. We have to go another time.”
“Yes, well, I wanted the atmosphere to be special.”
Vanessa opened her eyes.
“Why?”
“Shut your eyes, woman.”
She began to feel a flutter of panic. Now was not the time for anything…special. Not after the horror she’d been through the night before. She needed some recovery time, a few days for the mark Dafydd had left on her to go. And why had she allowed him to do that? Why was she with Ben if she’d let Dafydd… That photograph, that fucking photograph! The swirl of panicked thoughts rushed to the forefront of her mind and she put her hands up over her face.
“Hey,” said Ben softly, taking them away. He put something into one of them and made her close her fingers around it. She felt the shape of it, a square base with a rounded top, velvet covered.
Oh God, not this, not now.
“Do you know what it is?”
She heard him whisper, heard the sound of him shifting, moving, until he was on the floor in front of her.
“Ben…”
“Please, let me say the words. Vanessa, I love you so much I can’t imagine how I functioned before I met you. I want to marry you. Will you marry me? Please?”
Vanessa opened her eyes again and looked into the earnest, ardent, beloved face.
“Oh, love,” she said, blinking back tears. “You know I’m already married.”
“Yes, yes, but you’re going to get a divorce now, aren’t you? So, after that? Yes?”
“I…” She looked around her, as if for escape. “I don’t deserve you,” she said.
“Yes, yes, you do,” he said, pressing her hands hard. “That is, I mean, no, you’re too good for me, obviously, but don’t let that put you off.”
A laugh forced its way past the lump in her throat.
“You’re such an idiot.”