Should Have Known Better

“They’ll be OK,” I said. “Kids need to be rough.” I laughed and reached for another peanut.

My mother reached for one, too.

She popped it into her mouth and looked at me.

“You think you’re staying here for a little while?” she asked.

“I hope so,” I said. “Why?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, I just thought that maybe this weekend I could start cleaning out my garden. Pull some weeds. I can’t do it myself. It’s hard to get on my knees. And I figured maybe with my grands here, I could have some new knees.”

“Say no more, Mama,” I said, reaching into the bowl with her. “We’ll stay.”

“That’s good, baby.”

“And, Mama, thanks for being honest with me,” I said. “When it really mattered, your advice helped pull me through.”

Ignoring the red bowl between us and the remote control that was sitting on my lap, I reached over and embraced my mother wholly.

15

I had been standing in front of A. J.’s door for thirty minutes—well, the total waiting time was actually forty minutes if you count the time I spent sitting in the car looking at the door—before I finally got the courage to ring his bell. I raised my hand and was about to push the little lighted button, but then my nerve left me and I decided to go with the first plan I’d come up with in the car.

I looked in my purse and found a pen. I didn’t have my writing pad, so I took out an empty envelope and started writing a note.

A. J., I wrote and then scribbled over it. It looked too friendly. Like I was a neighbor. Hey A. J., I wrote and then scribbled over it. It looked like I was trying to be friendly.

I ripped the sheet in half and tried to put the part I wrote on in my pocket.

“What am I trying to say?” I said. “Hello A. J.! How are you? I was in the neighborhood and I wanted to stop by to apologize for standing you up,” I said, imagining that saying the note first and then writing it would make it sound better.

A neighborhood security vehicle rolled past slowly.

“It’s eleven o’clock at night; I’m gonna get arrested out here,” I scolded myself, thinking that I probably had no business coming over to his home so late at night in the first place. What was I thinking? What if he had company? A woman? Of course he had company! Of course there would be a woman there.

I balled up the torn piece of envelope and put it into my pocket. I turned to go back to my car, but light caught my footsteps in the darkness as the door behind me opened. I didn’t turn back around though. I was too embarrassed and thought that maybe if I stood still enough, whoever was holding the door open behind me wouldn’t be able to see me and just go back

into the house. I closed my eyes tightly and wished I was invisible.

“Dawn?”

I peeked through one eye.

“Is that you?”

“Yes,” I answered, clenching my teeth.

“Are you leaving? Did you ring the bell?”

I turned around like I was facing a firing squad, but what I saw was much more attractive. A.J. was standing square in the doorway wearing only a pair of thin beige night pants. Sleep was streaked all over his face. He rubbed his eyes like a little boy.

“Oh, you were asleep? I was just stopping by, but then I figured you were busy,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t think I was a complete stalker—which would prove to be true if he had video surveillance. I looked up for cameras over the doorway.

“Yeah, I was asleep, but my neighbor called. Said someone was sitting in a car in front of my house,” he said, yawning.

“Oh, no! I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool. They look out for me. We’ve had some funny situations.”