She pulls me up and into a half hug as she leads me into the living room. She helps me settle on the comfortably worn couch and tucks a fuzzy blanket around me. It feels so good to have someone fussing over me, no one has since my mom. It makes me feel… secure.
“Thank you,” I whisper to my friend. She smiles gently as she lowers herself down beside me.
“Rest for a while, Ana. We can talk more later,” she says. Her voice is so full of compassion that I want to explain everything to her.
“I love him.” I finally whisper. It feels good to say the words out loud. I have never told anyone how I feel about him. Saying it makes it, all of it, so much more real. I tiredly sag back into the cushions, exhausted now that everything I’ve been hiding is out in the open.
“I know you do, honey,” she tells me, “and if he doesn’t love you back then, he’s just stupid.”
I can’t help but laugh a little, Xavier is anything but stupid. “Thanks for being my friend Faye,” I say, reaching for her hand. She gives my fingers a little squeeze and doesn’t let go. “Thanks for being mine too, Ana.”
With a sigh I relax, letting my head fall back, feeling the fluttering of the little life growing inside me. I love you, little one. So much. For the first time since I realized that I was pregnant, I don’t feel alone.
Faye and I sit in the dimly lit living room, just enjoying the peaceful moment. The soft clanking of dishes in the kitchen is soon followed by the quiet hum of the dishwasher. Travis’ large frame briefly blocks the light when he stops to check on us before he goes upstairs without a word, leaving us alone.
Faye breaks the silence. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“There isn’t a lot to say. We were married two whole weeks before I left.” I try to blow off the question, but my words are so obviously a monumental lie that I can’t help but laugh at myself.
“How about I don’t even know where to start?” I ask her.
“That sounds more truthful.” She tells me, and I exhale slowly, acknowledging the truth in her statement and taking a second to assemble my thoughts. There is nowhere to start except at the beginning, so I begin there, explaining to her how Xavier has been part of my life since my mom died and I was sent to live with my dad.
She doesn’t know anything about the Cerelli family. She was lucky enough to not have them color every single day of her life like I did. Though I’m not sure that was any better in her case. If fact, if I had to choose, I would take my own life over what happened to her. I know that I’m comparing apples to oranges, as my mom used to say.
I fill her in, as briefly as possible, on the criminal history of Xavier Sr. and Dominic Cerelli. I make sure to be clear that Xavier is NOT, and as far as I know has never been, involved with the criminal activities of his family.
“When X’s dad died, he didn’t want to take over running the business. Vince, my dad, says he thinks he’s too good to get his hands dirty. Instead, he came to Vegas and established himself as a legitimate businessman. I guess he did the same in New York, but his father controlled everything he was involved in. Vince, my dad, says that moving to Vegas was a bad move and that the family isn’t happy about it.” I shrug. I’m just repeating everything that Vince told me. I don’t actually know if any of it is true or not, but it sounds feasible.
“How did you end up in Vegas?” Faye asks, her eyes lit up with curiosity.
“I really don’t know,” I admit. “I came home from work one evening, and Vince told me that Xavier had asked him to relocate to Las Vegas, and he wanted to know if I was staying or going with him. I never knew before then that my dad even worked with Xavier.”
“Maybe Xavier didn’t want to leave you behind, so he asked your dad to come with him,” she suggests.
It’s never made any sense to me why my dad was asked to join Xavier in Vegas. He was never part of the circle that Xavier kept close. Those guys were all much closer to Xavier’s age. They all went to school together. My dad was the odd man in the equation. The thought that I might be the reason never even occurred to me! Is there even a chance of me being the reason?
“Do you think that’s possible?” I ask. I can hear the hope ringing in my voice. How pathetic is that?
Faye just shrugs and asks me a few more questions, finally ending on the one that really counts, the one that I would prefer not to answer. Ever.
“So if he wasn’t your boyfriend, how in the world did you end up married to him?” She sounds confused. I don’t blame her. It is confusing, but also a very logical question. One that I’m disinclined to answer. I know that my answer will paint Xavier in a bad light, and I don’t want to do that. I’m positive that there is more to the story than I’m privy to anyway.
“I think that he might have bought me from my dad,” I whisper, hanging my head in shame.
“He WHAT?” she whisper shouts, her eyes flying toward the stairs where Travis disappeared. “What in the actual fuck do you mean ‘you think he bought you’?!”
I can’t meet her eyes. It is so humiliating to have to admit what I’m pretty sure my dad did.
“Ana,” she presses more gently this time, “what do you mean ‘you think he bought you’?”
I keep my eyes on my lap as I answer, “My dad was always getting himself into trouble gambling. Even before we came to Vegas. I’m sure that Xavier didn’t know he had, has, a problem when he asked him to come out here. The only thing I can think of is that Vince got himself in trouble, and this was Xavier’s way of helping him out. Of helping me out.”
“That doesn’t make sense, though. Why not just give your dad a loan and have him work off his debt?” Her voice is incredulous, I don’t blame her, it is far fetched, but I have tried to look at it from every angle, and I honestly can’t think of any other reason why.
“Then why else would he arrange to marry me that way?” I ask, my words hitching painfully. I don’t know what else to say.
“What happened to make you decide to pull a vanishing act?” Faye asks, making me laugh bitterly.