“Wedding night,” I mumble, looking away.
“What happened on your wedding night?”
“What usually happens on someone’s wedding night?” I snap, irritated with the question. Irritated with the feelings roiling inside me.
“You made love?” she asks with a smirk.
My answering laughter is as brittle as old glass. “I thought we were going to. It started out that way, I thought. Champagne and dancing. Kissing in the limo. We were a real couple.” I stop to consider what to say next. “It was different when we got to the room. He sort of lost control.”
Her face is a mask of sympathy mixed with a hint of indignance, “Did he hurt you?” she clears her throat, maybe a little nervous about how I’m going to answer.
“I don’t know exactly how to answer that…” I begin honestly. “I was a virgin. He was pretty rough with me, but... I think I liked it.” My cheeks flame with embarrassment, waiting for her to freak out at me. When she doesn’t, I whisper, “Does that make me bad?” I’m sure I’m as red as a tomato.
“I don’t think so.” She leans forward and breathes in a low voice, “I’m still a virgin though, so I only know what I’ve read in books. I don’t have any practical knowledge to share.” For some reason, her admission makes me feel better, and I smile.
“All of my experience comes from trashy novels too,” I admit, giggling. Faye is silent for a beat before she slaps her hand over her mouth to stifle her mirth. It makes her snort slightly, and like teenage girls, we fall into silly giggles and raunchy jokes. I feel better about the whole mess already, just being able to talk to someone about it, made all the difference. No, what made the difference was talking to a friend.
The one thing I know is that I’m committed to talking to X about what transpired between us that night as soon as I get home. I don’t want it to be between us. Even if he doesn’t want me that way anymore, I’m just so relieved that he wants me to come back enough that he is still looking for me.
Chapter Eight
Ana
Faye and I giggled on the couch that evening until Travis’ friend Blake came over to drive me to get my car and see me home safely. He seemed a little tense, but a nice enough guy. He even stopped at a liquor store and got me a couple of boxes to pack the things I don’t want to leave behind. He is just my friend Ellie’s type, kind and conscientious. It doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking too, not as hot as Xavier though. I will have to tell her about him when I get back to Vegas, especially since he’s making the trip back with us. I will worry about getting my little car home later since Blake offered to have it parked at their office.
Both Travis and Blake reassured me that if I go home and it isn’t working out for any reason, they will be there to help me leave if that is what I want. Travis even offered me a place to stay with him and Faye if I ever need it. I want to tell then that I won’t need that kind of help. I’m determined to make things work with Xavier for the sake of the baby. I know that he won’t kick me out. Not once he knows about the baby. He’s not that kind of man.
It does make me feel better knowing that I have friends and options that I didn’t have a few months ago. If I’d had someone to talk to or a place to go in Vegas, things might not have gotte
n to the point that I felt leaving was my only option. The best news ever was that Faye said she isn’t letting everyone go to Vegas without her. So, ROAD TRIP! As weird as it sounds, I’m excited to make this trip with my friend, I’ve never had a chance to go on a trip with a friend before.
I told Travis that it wouldn’t take me long to pack up the few things that I want to take with me, but he wanted to give Faye a few days to get accustomed to not having to always be looking over her shoulder before we leave. I was ready to go the next day, and even offered to leave before them, but they insisted that they would escort me back to my husband. Personally. So I’m waiting.
Packing up a couple of the boxes with the things that I have managed to get for the baby, as well as my small bag of clothes, didn’t take me very long. I don't have anything else to bring with me, I didn’t have a lot of money to spend. The apartment was furnished when I moved in, and I never made any attempt to add anything. I’ve always known, in my heart, that this place was going to be temporary. This is not the way I ever envisioned living my life. From the moment I realized that I was pregnant, I knew that I couldn’t let my baby come into the world, not knowing its father. I have just been too afraid to go back and see that Xavier didn’t even care that I was gone. It will be a lot easier, knowing that he did notice.
It’s been almost a week already, and I’m so ready to leave. Blake stopped by earlier to let me know that they would be picking me up around seven in the morning. I want to be up and ready when they get here, so picking up the cheap phone I got at a discount store, I set an alarm before I dial a number that I haven’t called in months.
Morning comes surprisingly fast, and for the first time in months, I was able to sleep through the entire night. My alarm did its job and was quickly followed by my usual mad dash to the bathroom while my stomach protests whatever it’s protesting. After those miserable minutes throwing up, I’m able to sit at the cracked Formica table sipping tea and munching on dry toast.
I’m so ready to go home. After making my call last night, I thought for a while about trying to call X and tell him that I’m coming back, but I chickened out and just went to bed. I’m sure Travis already let him know anyway.
It’s still mostly dark outside when the knock I have been anticipating comes. I set my cup down and immediately cross the small room to open the door to let them in.
Blake strides through the door as soon as it’s open, a big black pistol held confidently in his hand. Travis follows a step behind, also armed and looking ready for something, or someone other than me, to be here. Blake quickly searches the dinky apartment in a way that I have seen the police or military on TV do, while Travis stays near the front door.
“Is something going on that I should know about?” I ask, confused by their actions.
“Nah, ” Blake says, reentering the room, as he puts his gun back in the holster under his arm. Glancing at Travis, he tells him all clear. No kidding? I could have told them that, no one but me has been here since the day that I moved in.
Travis asks if I’m ready to go home, and I nod in reply. I’m so ready. I pick up my box of baby things and smile at Blake when he tries to take it from me. It’s sweet of him to want to help, but I can get it myself.
“It’s light. Just a few baby things I have picked up.” I tell him. He murmurs an affirmative before walking to the small stack of boxes and picking a couple up without a word. Travis does the same, and while I climb up into the backseat with Faye. She brought pillows, blankets, and a couple of books to keep us comfortable and entertained. Snacks too. Thank goodness, cause once the nausea wears off completely, I will be starving.
It is a long drive to Las Vegas, we probably won’t get there until around midnight or later. The guys don’t seem worried about making the drive in one sitting though, so Faye and I settle in for the ride, chatting and giggling and making plans about what to do once we are there. She has never been, so we have a lot to do.
She makes no secret about wanting to go to a salon and have her hair fixed, I want to do that too. I’m tired of pretending to be someone else. It will be fun having a friend to hang out with. The only friend I made in Vegas was Ellie, and she works so much trying to make ends meet for her mom, disabled sister, and her sister's baby that we never got to hang out for fun. Just while we were working.
Later, when I was feeling better, we pulled through a fast-food drive-thru to get some lunch. Originally the guys had planned to stop and go somewhere we could get out of the truck to eat. Plans change, something is bothering both Travis and Blake. The further we have gotten from Spokane, the quieter the two of them have gotten. Faye and I have followed suit, no longer chattering and making plans. Things have gotten tense, but I can’t see any apparent reason why. They keep scanning the road for trouble, but nothing happens. I can’t help but wonder if maybe they are just paranoid. The way they searched my house this morning makes me think that maybe they are. I’m sure that expecting the unexpected is normal for these two.