“But that’s the thing.” My voice floated out, and I felt like the words and thoughts were detached from me emotionally. “You would sign. Because you don’t want your family to hate you.”
He took a step forward. “Do you want to put me in that position?”
I shook my head slowly, feeling like I was in a dream. Or a nightmare. “No. But that was always the reason. That was always why I came to Ireland.”
“Natalie—”
“Don’t.” I took a step back and my hands came up. “Just—I need to think. I just need a minute to think.”
So for the first time since that night that at the dolmen, we slept in our own rooms. Or didn’t sleep. Instead, I tossed and turned for hours. After midnight, Mike knocked. I sat up, gathering the blankets to me and shivering. The moon hung low and large in the sky. I didn’t answer.
Instead, I lay back down in the dark and watched the moonlight slide across the ceiling. My heart didn’t stop beating. I thought about writing to Jeremy or Skyping Cam or my mom, but this had to be my decision.
I just had no idea what the right choice would be.
I didn’t know how you made that decision.
* * *
I felt like I’d barely closed my eyes before I was awake again.
I still didn’t have an answer, but I knocked on Mike’s door anyway. I needed to talk to him about this. Or at least see him.
But he didn’t answer. I didn’t find him downstairs, either. So I pulled on my running gear, ran through my stretches and headed outside. The mist hung over the hills, fading out the swaying Cypresses and the sea, and raising goosebumps on my arms and bare legs. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the fresh, grassy air, and started jogging. I’d be warm soon.
But I’d barely started when I saw a figure obscured by the fog.
It was Lauren, coming in from the path to the village. She still wore last night’s black dress, her hair piled up in a messy bun. My mouth parted. “Oh.”
She flushed furiously and lifted her chin. “I was out for a walk.”
Hey, if that was her story I wouldn’t challenge it. “Sure. I’m just...going for a run.”
I couldn’t help it. My mouth quirked and a snort slipped out.
She scowled at me. “What?’
I shook my head.
She jutted out her chin. “Go on, ask.”
I didn’t really need to ask. “You slept with Paul last night?”
She stared at me, and then she laughed until she pressed her hand to her head. “Yes.” She fished a clip from her purse and put up her curls. “It’s not that weird, is it?”
“No. I mean...you’re not that related.”
“Oh, God.”
I smiled wryly.
She let out a breath. “So, did Mike calm down?”
“Um. That’s something we’ll probably have to talk about later. I haven’t really talked to him since last night.”
She made a face. “I sort of forgot that this might, uh, have ramifications for you too.”
She didn’t know the half of it.