Surrendering (Surrender 1)

He smiles widely and his eyes twinkle. His dad must have heard our hushed conversation because he says, “Grandpa’s come to where Santa delivers too.”

David hands out gifts and I notice that the Collins’ are being much more polite while they open their presents than my family was. Abbi and Ella open their presents first. They both squeal at my gifts and thank me profusely. They’re equally as excited at the jewelry Declan picked out for them. I give David the same set of books I got my dad and he tells me they’re perfect. The girls got Declan several vintage t-shirts and some sort of music book. I have a gift bag in my arms, but Abbi tells me not to open it yet. When I’m sure they’re finished, I get up and grab the large wrapped gift from behind the tree. I carry it to Declan on the couch and his face scrunches up in confusion.

“What’s this?” He asks.

“This, my dear, is the top secret gift I’ve been working on for weeks. Your sisters brought it here for me.”

“You already gave me my presents.”

“No silly, I gave you a few little things. This is your big gift.”

“What’s the difference between little gifts and big gifts? Aren’t they all the same?” He still hasn’t taken the package from me.

“If you open it, you’ll know. Do you just want to argue about gifts all afternoon?”

He takes it from me and hesitantly rips through the paper. He gets it free and inhales loudly.

He looks at me with wonder. “How did you get this? When did you do this?”

I had a picture of Sayge onstage in Atlanta blown up and framed for his house.

“I wanted to find a way to capture your first live show outside of a bar. I had all our friends take pictures from the audience in Atlanta and I picked my favorite one. I sent the image to a company I found online and we worked together to make the image perfect. I chose a sepia tone because each of you is spotlighted in this shot.”

“It’s amazing, but it kind of reminds me of a puzzle.”

“That’s the best part of working with this company. They superimposed the image and transferred it. Look closer at it.”

He looks at it closer and lowers his head to his chest. I can’t see his eyes, but I swear I hear him sniff. He clears his throat and looks at me. “Guitar Picks, you had it matted on guitar picks.”

There is so much emotion in his voice that I stay quiet. He stares at it for a minute longer and then sets it to the side. He gets up and pulls me into his body.

“There hasn’t been many times in my life I’ve been speechless, but this is one of them. Thank you. You have no idea what this fucking means to me. You’re amazing.” I get a quick kiss on the forehead before his dad asks to see the picture.

We all look at it again and I’m proud of how it turned out. All the guys in Sayge are caught in their own element. Their heads are turned towards the instruments except for Declan who is singing and pointing. He’s beautiful with his hair falling into his face and his body leaning into the crowd.

Ella tells me to open my gift bag. Inside the bag I find several frames with pictures from the same weekend. My favorite is the one where Declan’s hoisting me up and kissing me. It was taken right after he came offstage. She hands Declan a similar gift, but his frames have different pictures. She must have asked everyone to send their own pictures because there are ones of the six girls, the band, and all of us together in our private area. There’s only one of Declan and I looking at the camera and I’m positive Charlie took it.

After Declan and I clean the kitchen, I excuse myself to go to the restroom and wonder the halls looking at family portraits. I come across a photo of the whole family and see exactly where each of the Collins children gets their good looks. Their mother was gorgeous. She was the perfect mix of Abbi and Ella. She was a petite woman with the same stunning smile as her children.

I walk back into the living room. David clears his throat loudly and Declan stops talking. David looks at me with a wide grin and the girls are looking anywhere but at me. I get the feeling they were talking about me. The girls are staying here again tonight, but Declan and I are going back to his house.

At 7:00, we say our goodbyes and load up the car. It’s going to snow tonight which is fine by me because we have nowhere to go tomorrow. I don’t mind being trapped inside.

Once we get back to his house, he takes our bags inside and heads to his garage while I unload the leftovers. He cusses in the living room and calls for me. He’s hanging the picture over his fireplace and it’s totally off-center.

“Can you give me some directions? I haven’t hung pictures in my house before and it looks crooked from up here.”

“It is. You need to move it to the right and lower the corners.”

Once it’s perfect, he walks to me and pulls my back against his front. “This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten. I don’t even know how to explain how much more I fall in love with you every day.”

“I fall in love with you more every day too. You’re one of the most passionate people I know. You take your role as a brother and son seriously. You love your band and your music. Even though we’ve had our trouble, you have set my bar so high that no one will ever make me feel as good as you do.”

“You make it sound like you need to compare me to someone-”

“Stop it,” I interrupt him. “That’s not what I mean. I’ve had a wonderful life so far. I have an amazing family and group of friends. In my heart, I have always wished that I’d find a love that would blow my insecurities away. I could only dream about what I have with you.” I turn in his arms and run my hands through his hair. Lifting up on my tip toes, I look into his eyes. “You’ve been saying things all week to make me think you want to be with me forever. Kids, houses, holiday plans. Everything has me thinking about us. If we plan to move forward, you need to know that I think about those things too.”

He kisses me slowly and softly. “Marry me,” he says against my lips and I freeze.