Surrendering (Surrender 1)

He leans back and his eyes speak volumes. He’s serious. He stares at me for a minute before he speaks. “You look like I just ran over your dog.”

“Did I hear you right?”

“I think you did. Did you just hear me ask you to marry me?”

“I didn’t hear you ask anything. Maybe when you do, you

’ll get an answer.” My eyes sting with the build-up of tears. I jerk out of his embrace and head to the bathroom to shower. I leave him to think about his blunder.

Declan’s lost his mind. My emotions are all over the place. I’m his very first girlfriend. Surely it’s too soon to think about marriage. Of course, in my mind, I know I will never love anyone like I love him. But how can he be so sure? Jealousy and rage washes over me as I think about him with another girl. ‘Marry Me’ is ringing in my head as I try to push the thoughts of the other girls out of my mind.

I finish getting ready for bed and notice my black silk nightie on the door hook. I dress and decide not to mention this again until he does.

I open the bathroom door and his room is covered in candles. He’s on the bed in his pajama pants. There’s one of the framed photos of us by his bed. He looks like he’s showered as well. He must have taken one in the guest bathroom.

“Hey,” I say softly.

“Don’t move. Let me come to you.” He reaches for me and pulls me to the middle of the room.

“I fucked up earlier, forgive me.”

“I do, it was just a slip up.”

“No, it wasn’t a slip up at all.” He shakes his head. “I absolutely love you. You make my world light up. Before you, I lived my life fast, hard, and without consequences. But when you and I connected, I knew I was missing out. You understand me and what I want out of life. You’re smart and sweet, caring and vulnerable, loyal and fierce, and you love family. You think about everyone but yourself. You don’t even understand how wonderful you are because you’re having too much fun. In the last few months, you’ve changed me in the best possible way. I know we both have a lot going on right now, but we can make it work. It sounds cliché, but I would move mountains if they stood in the way of our happiness. When I think about yesterday, today, and tomorrow- all I see is us. So now, I ask you, will you marry me?”

He drops down on his knees and opens a box I didn’t see before. My vision grows blurry with tears and my heartbeat accelerates. I lower myself down and stare into his eyes. I see the same love and adoration I feel for him staring back at me. In this moment, I see our future.

“Yes, I will marry you.” My voice is low because my throat’s tight. I crash my mouth to his with a long, slow, emotionally charged kiss. Our tongues dance together perfectly. He yanks me down to him so there’s no space between us. Our bodies melt together as we pour out our thoughts through our kiss. He slows down and finishes with feather light pecks along my cheeks, lips, neck, and jawline.

He leans back and lifts my left hand to place a ring on my finger. The ring is an exquisite Asscher cut diamond with a halo of smaller diamonds surrounding it. It’s set with the band splitting in to two rows to wrap around my finger. I look up at him and see unshed tears in his eyes.

“Oh my God, Declan, it’s gorgeous. When did you get this?” He stands up and lifts me in his arms as he carries me to the bed.

“I bought the ring at the same time I bought your birthday gift. I’ve known for awhile that I was going to ask you, but I wasn’t sure when to do it.”

“You’ve had this ring for over a month? Why tonight?”

“Believe me. I tried to hold on longer because I thought you weren’t ready. I talked to your mom and dad yesterday to get their blessing so everything would be perfect when the time was right. I didn’t want to have a Christmas proposal, but when I opened your gift earlier today at Dad’s, I knew tonight was the night.”

“So you’re saying a picture made you decide it was the right time?”

“It may be just a picture to you, but to me, it represents so much more. I was a rebel at one time; there has never been room for relationships outside my family. That’s why I was a man-whore. Meaningless, faceless, nameless sex with women just to get off til the next girl threw herself at me. But when I fell for you, everything became so much more. Talking, listening, laughing, all became things I wanted to do with you. I fell hard. I knew from the first month we started dating that I was going to ask you to marry me. But today, when I opened that picture, I saw that you really understood me. You get me in a way that no one else does. You filled a hole today, Raven. A hole that I didn’t even know was there.”

I’ve never seen Declan this exposed before. He’s completely serious and humble. I lunge for him and he rolls us so I’m straddling him. I put my hands on his chest and stare at the rock that sits on my finger. He laces our fingers together and kisses my ring, never taking his eyes from mine. I slide down his body, paying close attention to his erection. I never wear underwear to bed anymore unless I have to, but Declan still has his pajamas on. I reach down to remove his pants, but he grabs my wrist and turns us over. He braces his arms on both sides of my face and smiles down at me.

“Sparkle, I love you.”

“I love you too. Now why don’t you show me how much?”

“I’m going to spend the entire night adoring you and your body. You’ve made me the luckiest man alive. I promise to spend the rest of our lives showing you how incredible you are. I will cherish the memories of tonight my entire life. Thank you.”

Chapter 33

Chance Meetings

It did snow on Christmas night which made it easier for Declan and I to hibernate for the last three days. We both got text messages every day from family and friends, but we replied with vague responses. We didn’t say anything about our engagement. Declan declared sex with a fiancé was better than sex with a girlfriend so we tested his theory often and everywhere.

We finally ran out of food this morning so Declan had run to the store. When he was gone, I decided to do our laundry and sanitize all the countertops knowing what we’d been doing on the kitchen surfaces the last few days.