“It’s not the easy choice.” Being without Maddie was no goddamn choice at all because her silence spoke volumes.
“Good. Be safe at work and be happy at home. That’s the only way.”
“Safe is relative, of course,” Ma added with a worried smile. “If Maddie makes you happy, you’ll find a way to make it work.”
“Can we eat now, please?” I didn’t want to spend the entire meal talking about how badly I’d fucked things up with Maddie. I would fix it if she would give me the time of day. That was a big damn if, but still my dad’s words stayed with me throughout dinner and the whole drive home.
Safe at work, happy at home.
Happy at home was Maddie waiting for me with that sassy smile and smartass comment on her lips, maybe even a beer in her hand. That was happy, and I wanted it. Badly.
When I got home and saw Jasper waiting at my door, Maddie was back on my mind. “What’s wrong? Is Maddie all right?”
Jasper held up a hand, his lips curled into a tight grin. “Maddie’s fine. She’s at home with Ava Rose.”
My shoulders relaxed. “Then why are you here?”
“I figured we should talk.”
“About what?” We had no business now or in the future. “If you’re here for details on Bonnie’s murder, I don’t have anything for you.”
“I’m not here for Bonnie. Not explicitly anyway.”
Jasper was a smooth motherfucker, probably the type who never actually issued a direct order so nothing could ever be tied back to him. “I have a proposition.”
“Not interested.”
He flashed a grin. “Hear me out. We’re always looking for good cops who are willing to help us stay ahead of the law. The pay is good, much better than your government salary, and all you have to do is give us a heads up when needed.”
Was that how it happened? How good cops turned crooked? A small request, issued so simply, made to seem so fucking easy.
“I already have money.”
Jasper nodded. “No such thing as too much money, Officer Ellison.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Look, this arrangement could benefit us both, Ellison. It’s got to be hard to be a cop around here when your brother is President of the biggest MC on the West Coast.” It wasn’t a question but he had my attention. “I can help you move up the ranks if that’s what you want. You don’t need money, fine, but contrary to what the cops in town think, the Ashby’s aren’t the only ones who operate in the gray areas of the law.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that a few good arrests, being at the right place at the right time, could really help a guy with your background make detective. Maybe even Sergeant.”
My instinct was to turn him down, was to tell him to shove his offer up his ass and to go fuck himself. But a small part of me considered the truth of his words.
Moving up the ranks would be hard if every fucking person in the precinct doubted my loyalty. But working for the Ashby family didn’t sit right with me, either. They likely killed a mother and an undercover agent, and they needed to pay for that.
“Well?” Jasper stood there, impatience radiating off his shoulders, his gaze expectant.
Then again, there’s no honor among thieves. Is there? Too many thoughts swirled in my mind and the offer too enticing to turn down right away. “I’ll think about it.”
He gave a short nod and grinned. “That’s all I ask. Thanks, Ellison.”
“Yeah, sure.” I watched Jasper walk over to his Mercedes SUV and hop in the driver’s seat, surprised he showed up without his henchman Terry, who would soon become his brother-in-law.
There was only one person who’s opinion I could trust when it came to this, only one person I could talk this out with. Maddie. I pulled out my phone and shot off a text. “You up?”
Chapter Thirty-One
Madison
“Well fuck me, that explains a lot.”
The past week made a whole lot more sense when I saw the little lines on the pregnancy test. The fits of tears at Molly’s rejection. The nonstop pining over Jamie, a man who wanted nothing to do with me. The need to get away, to be on my own.
It was all emotional bullshit that I tried hard not to dwell on because it was useless. It didn’t help with anything other than stagnation, and it wasn’t my fucking style.
Now I knew why it had become my style.
Because I was fucking pregnant!
Pregnant. A goddamn statistic. How many girls had I judged and mocked from the San Bernardino trailer park for getting knocked up and left alone? Too many. Enough that karma was having a fucking field day with me.
“Ha, ha, bitch.” I shouldn’t be surprised that this little curveball came just as I decided to get my life together and to do it on my own. It was a rule for people like me; the minute my life started going a little bit good, the universe sent a bomb to remind me who I was and where I came from. It showed up to remind me that no matter how far I traveled, how high I climbed, I was still nothing more than trailer trash.