Reminder received.
It was well past midnight, and I’d skipped Sunday dinner, which meant I was hungry and cranky, and now knocked up. I sat in the middle of the bed, scowling at the piss-covered stick, willing one of those damn lines to fade away. To tell me this was all a big joke meant to remind me not to let anyone, especially a man, get too close.
My phone buzzed on the desk and I glared at it, knowing exactly who it would be. Not just because Jamie had been calling and texting nonstop since he gave me the cold shoulder, but who else would be calling at the exact moment I find out the worst news of my life?
Thankfully, it was just a text.
Jameson: You up?
That was the universal request for a booty call and it shocked me, though I guess it shouldn’t have. The past few days had proven to me that I couldn’t expect anything good from anyone, no matter the connection I thought we shared.
I stared at the screen for a long time, deciding first whether I’d respond at all and then, how I might respond. Was this the kind of conversation you had over the phone? Should I even say anything when I hadn’t made up my mind how I felt about being pregnant, other than absolutely, totally fucking fucked?
Madison: Yeah, I’m up.
It was the first time I’d answered his texts in a long time and Jamie responded immediately.
Jameson: Can we talk?
I shook my head at the screen even though he couldn’t see me.
Madison: Nope.
Jameson: Please?
He sent a tempting smiley face emoji as if that would clear everything up.
Madison: “I’m fucking pregnant.”
Sent with an angry face. But, before I could toss the phone back on the bed, it was ringing and vibrating in my hand . I rolled my eyes as it rang, and Jamie’s gray eyes appeared larger than life. I tapped the accept button and grunted, “What?”
“I’m coming to pick you up.”
I stared at the phone for a moment and shook my head.
“No, you’re not. I’m not in the headspace for you right now.” Even as I said the words, tears started to sting my eyes, and my emotions threatened to bubble over at the sound of his voice.
“I’m coming,” he growled, his voice determined and worried.
“Jamie, don’t. Please. I need to process this shit.” I swiped at my tears and then ran a hand over my head. “I need to figure out what I’m gonna do.”
Silence fell for a long moment, and when Jamie spoke, there was a hint of darkness in his voice. “What do you mean, what you’re gonna do?”
I squeezed my eyes shut tight and shook my head as more tears rolled down my cheek. Silent tears streaked my cheeks that spoke volumes of the decision I had to make.
“Maddie?”
“I’m here.”
“Talk to me,” he said, his voice strained and filled with worry.
“Oh, now you want to talk? Now that it’s convenient for the great Jameson Ellison, he wants to talk.” I let out a loud, bitter laugh and shook my head. “Look, Jamie, this pregnancy wasn’t part of the plan. I have a life, now, and a job, and even a car of my own. A kid right now would fuck all of that up. That’s not what I want.”
“Most babies aren’t planned.”
I understood what he was trying to do, inject some reason into the conversation, but it was too late for that.
“Yeah, and the woman makes the choice to struggle her whole life just to raise that kid while the man gets to go off and do whatever the fuck he wants. Do me a favor and let me make that decision on my own.”
“It’s not just your baby,” he growled.
“Yeah, maybe not, but it’s my body, and I’m the one who’s gonna end up doing everything for that kid. I barely have time for myself as it is. Between work and Ava Rose, my schedule is packed. What am I supposed to do when you decide being a daddy isn’t for you?”
He sucked in a breath, and I knew I overstepped.
“I would never, ever fucking abandon my child, Madison.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But even if you don’t, you won’t be the one getting up for middle of the night feedings, ear infections, and all that other shit that babies come with, are you? No, it’ll be me.”
“We can make this work, Maddie. I’m here for you.”
Here for you. I barked out another laugh and shook my head in disbelief. He was here for me. This man, who sat there with a stony expression while I cried genuine tears in front of him, would be there for me.
“You mean like you were there for me the other night? I’d rather be alone.”
“One fight and suddenly I’m a deadbeat piece of shit dad?”