Courage (Heroes of Big Sky 1)

“We were so sick just a few days ago. I could hardly get my ass out of bed. I had to walk them to school that first morning, and then I just sat on a bench and hoped that hypothermia took me, so I didn’t have to walk home. Luckily, Fallon saw me and brought me home. I haven’t been that sick in years. And then, just a couple of hours later, the kids got it too, and I got called. Gage was here, thankfully, helping me out, and I told them he would pick them up.

“That was a huge no-go. So, I had to get my sick ass out of bed and go collect the kids. We just lived in my bed for a few days, miserable together. Thank God for my brother, Sam. I couldn’t have done it by myself.”

I’m just listening and shaking my head as her words hit me like little bullets.

“Why is this the first that I’m hearing of this?”

She whirls on me, her eyes shooting daggers. “Because you don’t answer my fucking calls!”

Her chest is heaving, her eyes full of tears.

Thank God they’re not flat anymore.

“Tash—”

“No. I don’t want your excuses. I call, I text, and I tell you that I need to talk to you, but you don’t respond.”

“I did respond,” I reply, keeping my voice calm. “I asked if it was urgent. You always say no.”

“That doesn’t mean you never call me back, you big jerk.” She scrubs her hands through her hair. “It means finish what you’re doing and then call me. But what it boils down to is really simple, Sam. You don’t want to call. If you did, I’d hear from you more than a few times a week when you’re falling asleep. You didn’t even kiss me when you walked in. I don’t feel close to you at all. And if I’m going to be a single parent and muddle my way through angry kids and broken cars without you here, I’ll do it as a single woman. Because I’ve been miserable this month.”

“You never said anything.”

“I did. You didn’t listen. You were too wrapped up in what was going on there to take a minute and ask me if everything was okay. Out of sight, out of mind, right?”

Her laugh is humorless as she reaches for her purse and keys.

“Where are you going? We need to talk about this.”

“Sure. Yeah, that works. But I have to go help Fallon with some things first, is that okay?” She tosses my words from this morning back at me, rolls her eyes, and slams out of the house.

Fuck.

Jesus, have I been that selfish?

I stare at the bags in the middle of the room. I’m not fucking leaving. I’m not moving out. If she thinks she can just break up with me like this and that I’ll leave without a fight, she’s the delusional one.

And just where does she get off coming at me like that? She’s the one who insisted that I go to the damn job in the first place. Now she’s going to change her mind, and all of this is my fault?

Screw that.

We’re going to sit down and have this out, and I’m not waiting for her to come home. I’ll go find her. She couldn’t have gotten far. She’s on foot, for Christ’s sake.

But when I open the door, Gage is standing on the other side, his fist raised to knock.

His eyebrows climb in surprise. “You’re here.”

“Hello to you, too. Natasha isn’t here.”

“Good.” He pushes his way into the house and stares at the bags. “Wow, I didn’t think she’d actually kick you out.”

“I don’t understand what the fuck is going on here.”

“Yeah, communication hasn’t been your strong suit.”

I glare at him and cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t particularly like that she’s been telling you all of the details of our life but hasn’t talked to me.”

“Maybe you should answer a damn call once in a while.” He rocks back on his heels and tucks his hands into his pockets. His eyes are angry, but his voice is calm. “She’s had a shitty time of it since you left. If you called to actually talk to her, you’d have known that.”

“We did talk.” I shove my hand through my hair. “I asked how the kids were, how everything else was going. She said it was fine.”

“Fine.” He laughs and shakes his head at me like I’m the dumbest asshole on the Earth. “Don’t you know when a woman says it’s fine that it’s not really fine? Did you ask for details?”

I think back on it and sigh. “No, because by the time I could call, I was in bed and exhausted.”

“Look, I get it,” Gage says. “I was in the Army, and we were busy as hell. I couldn’t always call out and didn’t want to. I was exhausted. I imagine it’s the same for you and what you do for a living.”