‘My mother was a good woman.’ He felt a fresh stirring of anger. ‘She would never have run away with him if he hadn’t lied to her.’
‘I know.’ Hilda’s tone sh
ifted as she sat down on a hearth bench. ‘In truth, I felt sorry for her in a way, even though I hated her, too. It wasn’t fair of me. It wasn’t fair of me to hate you and Rurik either, but...’
‘You were unhappy.’
‘Yes. I was married to a man I’d come to despise. That was bad enough, but when he brought you to live in my household, I was furious. I felt insulted, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You were just boys.’
‘I probably didn’t help.’ Danr lowered himself onto the bench beside her. ‘I was always baiting you, but you made it so easy.’
‘I did no—’ She stopped mid-way through her protest. ‘All right, maybe I did. I was a hypocrite, too.’
‘How so?’
‘I was always berating you for your behaviour, but my relationship with Joarr began sooner than it should have.’
‘I know.’
‘What?’
‘Joarr’s never been very good at dissembling. You were better at hiding it, but I knew.’
She shifted around to look him full in the face. ‘Then why didn’t you tell your father? That would definitely have got his attention. You could have had your revenge on me, too.’
‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged. ‘Maybe by that time I already knew his attention wasn’t worth having. Or maybe because Joarr had always been more of a father to me and I didn’t want him to suffer. Or maybe I just felt sorry for you.’
‘You felt sorry for me?’ Her chin whipped up indignantly.
‘You see?’ He grinned. ‘Easy.’
She stared at him for a long moment. ‘You’re not the Danr I remember.’
‘I hope not. I don’t think any of us are the same after what happened that day in Maerr.’
‘It’s not just that. You were different afterwards, yes, but today a woman ordered you to put down your sword and talk to your stepmother and you did it. The Danr I remember would never have even considered such a thing. He told women what to do, not the other way around.’ Her expression turned quizzical. ‘You were truly prepared to die for her, weren’t you?’
‘It was my fault she was here in the first place.’
‘Is that the only reason?’
‘No.’ He paused. ‘She’s...different.’
‘She’s certainly that. They say she lives all alone in the forest.’
‘Yes, until I came along. She found me dying and saved my life. Then I convinced her to let me stay.’ He made a face as she arched an eyebrow. ‘Because of my cooking actually.’
‘That’s all?’ Her eyebrow stayed where it was. ‘Because it would be easy to take advantage of a woman like that.’
‘No, it wouldn’t.’ He snorted. ‘Trust me.’
‘So you haven’t...?’
‘No.’
‘You haven’t?’
‘No!’