Then he sat back in his chair, inhaling the delicate scent of honeysuckle that still clung to the air, feeling as though he’d done something wrong and taken a step forward at the same time—and now that he’d taken it, he had a feeling there was no way he’d ever be able to go back.
Chapter Eighteen
Lothar waited until the sound of Juliana’s footsteps faded away before dropping his head into his hands with a groan. What the hell had just happened? Definitely not what he’d intended to happen when he’d come up to her father’s chamber. He felt as though he’d just been shaken to his core. He’d tried to do the honourable thing in pushing her away, but in truth, he’d been protecting himself, too. The way their kiss had made him feel had been terrifying and bewildering in equal measure.
The sound of his name being whispered gave him a visceral jolt, shocking him out of his reverie and his chair.
‘William?’ He leaned over the bed at once.
‘Lothar the Frank.’ A familiar face smiled up at him. ‘I thought it was you.’
‘You’re awake?’ He shook his head at the inanity of his own question. Of course William was awake. Judging by the look in his eyes, he was lucid, too. But how long had he been awake? What had he seen?
‘I thought perhaps I was dreaming.’ William started to smile and then winced.
‘Are you in pain?’
‘Nothing I can’t bear. It’s good to see you, my friend, but what are you doing here? How did you get through the siege?’
He hesitated. If William didn’t remember the battle with Stephen, then the less he said about it the better. The thought of lying made him distinctly uneasy, though telling the truth didn’t seem a much better idea...
‘The Empress sent me.’ That was true anyway.
‘Ah...reinforcements.’ William gave a relieved-sounding sigh. ‘At last. I knew she would.’
‘Stephen’s gone and the castle holds for Matilda.’ That was true, too.
‘And Juliana? Is she all right?’
‘Your daughter?’
William looked surprised. ‘Who else?’
‘Of course. Forgive me, I’ll fetch her.’
‘Wait!’ The other man’s hand shot out, clutching his arm in a surprisingly firm grip. ‘I need to speak with you first.’
‘Very well.’ Lothar nodded reluctantly. If William had just seen him kiss his daughter, then doubtless he was about to rebuke him for it. There was equally no doubt that he deserved it. He only hoped William didn’t ask him to explain himself, because he truly didn’t think he could.
‘I’ve made a mistake, Lothar.’
He blinked in surprise. Those definitely weren’t the words he’d been expecting, but William looked more sombre than accusing.
‘What do you mean?’
‘With Juliana. I thought I was doing the right thing, raising her to be a free woman, to act on her own, but now I’m afraid it was wrong of me.’
‘She’s a strong woman.’ Lothar felt oddly defensive about her. ‘How is that wrong?’
‘Because it’s not enough. I thought it would be, but if the Empress can’t win what’s rightfully hers, then what hope is there for Juliana? If this war were over, she might stand a chance, but the way things are, she isn’t safe. I can’t protect her any more. I won’t be here much longer, we both know that, and I don’t want to leave her alone.’ He looked up at him with a half-pleading, half-resolute expression. ‘I need you to take care of her, Lothar. You’re an honourable man. I’ve seen how well you protect the Empress and I know why you do it, too. If you promise to take care of Juliana, then I know that you will.’
‘I’ll do what I can.’
‘No!’ William shook his head vehemently. ‘I need more than that. I’ll give you everything. My castle, my lands, my title, just as long as you keep her safe.’ He dragged in a breath, as if he were building to something. ‘I need you to marry her.’
‘Marry?’ For a moment Lothar wondered if the other man had seen him kiss her after all. Either that or he was delirious. ‘William, you know where I come from. There are better men, worthier men.’
‘You’re better than you think. I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t think you were the right man.’