&nbs
p; ‘But you know my past. You know I’m not suited to marriage.’
‘I also know that you’re not your father. You would never do what he did.’
He drew in a sharp breath. No, he would never do that, not when the very thought made him feel physically sick, though the idea of marriage terrified him almost as much. A husband was supposed to care, to feel, to love his wife, wasn’t he? Whereas he... He’d closed his heart to that particular emotion a long time ago—had no intention of opening it again, even if he knew how. He didn’t have emotional attachments. He wasn’t capable of such things. The very idea was madness!
‘You don’t like her?’ William’s brow furrowed.
‘It’s not that.’
‘She can be a little stubborn, I grant you.’
He had to stifle a laugh. ‘A little.’
‘But she’ll be a good wife. Once she’s come to terms with the idea, that is.’
‘She won’t like it.’
‘No.’ William conceded. ‘I raised her to think that marriage wasn’t necessary, that she could find her own way, but I’ve run out of time. I need you to take care of her for me now.’
He raised a hand, about to run it through his hair when he saw the bandage she’d wrapped there so tenderly half an hour before. Would he marry her? Yes. If she needed his protection then how could he refuse his old friend? As long as protection was all William asked of him... And he did like her, stubborn temper and all. A lot of marriages were based on less. The impulse that had led to their kiss had been unnerving, but surely he could control his desire for her. Perhaps they could be friends, though he had a feeling her coming to terms with the idea, as William had put it, might take a while. Maybe if he hadn’t just kissed and then pushed her away he might have stood a chance of convincing her, but the look on her face as she’d stormed out of the chamber didn’t offer much hope.
‘I’ll need to ask the Empress for her consent.’
‘There’s no time. Tell her it was my last wish. She’ll understand.’
Lothar clenched his jaw. That was probably true. Not to mention the fact that she was unlikely to arrest his wife. Even if Matilda didn’t approve of the marriage, Juliana would be in a far safer position married to him than otherwise. And if he vouched for her, he might even be able to persuade Matilda to let Juliana remain as chatelaine. It would be the perfect way of protecting her, even better than William realised. Not that she was likely to think so.
‘What about your daughter’s consent? She might not give it willingly.’
The words were barely out of his mouth before he heard an exclamation and the lady herself came running across the room. ‘Father, you’re awake!’
‘Juliana.’ William’s voice was weak, though his expression was utterly transformed at the sight of her. So was hers, Lothar noticed with a pang. She was smiling with a look of such pure love that he felt his chest clench with an unwonted feeling of longing.
Clearly she hadn’t heard what her father had just said. If she had, then he had a feeling she wouldn’t be smiling.
* * *
Juliana clutched at her father’s hand, pressing a kiss to the fingertips as she saw the skin around his eyes crinkle with his old familiar smile. It had been so long since she’d seen it, since he’d looked at her with anything besides confusion.
‘Why didn’t you summon me?’ She threw an accusing look towards Lothar.
‘Because I wanted to talk with him first.’ Her father’s voice was faintly admonishing. ‘Lothar and I are old friends. He tells me that Stephen’s gone.’
‘Ye-es.’ She felt a flutter of panic at the thought of what else he might have told him.
‘I told him that Haword’s still loyal to the Empress.’ Lothar’s voice was reassuring, as if he guessed what she was thinking.
‘But it’s not safe for you any more, Daughter.’
‘Don’t worry about me.’ She shook her head dismissively.
‘I can’t help it. If the Empress can have her country stolen from her, what’s to stop someone from taking Haword from you? There’s precious little honour or justice left in the world. I can’t rest until I know you’re safe.’
‘You raised me to take care of myself.’
‘That’s not enough, not any more. You need to marry.’