If the mere thought of telling Seb had me kneeling at the porcelain throne, what would happen when I had to stand in front of him, look him in the eye, and tell him I was pregnant? My empty stomach heaved again, working in vain as sore muscles clenched over and over until my vision blurred and I was gasping for breath.
When the misery ended, I tucked my body against the wall, arms wrapped around my legs, laid my cheek on my knees, and sniffed. Piper came in and sat next to me in silence, her intuition spot on. We both knew there was nothing she could say that would make a difference. Even if Piper—and Rocco if he didn’t toss me out in the street first—stayed by my side every step of the way, I essentially had to do it alone.
“I’m not ready to tell anyone yet,” I said.
“Understandable.”
Mentally drained, I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes. “You don't think it’s selfish? I mean, not telling Rocco or…” My heart stuttered. I couldn't bring myself to say his name. “Him right away?”
Piper drew up her own legs to mimic my pose. “I don't think there's a right or wrong way to handle this. It's difficult and emotional and you have a lot to work through and think about.” I forced myself to meet Piper’s gaze, and this time, instead of pity I saw sympathy and support and friendship. “You have to trust that when the time is right to say something, you'll know.”
My eyes began to leak. “I don't deserve a friend like you.”
Piper pulled a face. “That’s ridiculous. Everyone deserves a friend. Especially when times are tough and we’re too weak to carry on. We need a friend to pick us up and carry us to the other side.” She lifted her chin from her knees and took a deep breath. “I always thought that if I hadn’t isolated myself from everyone, if I could talk to someone I trusted when I went through my breakup and everything, maybe I would be in a better place. You know, mentally. Maybe I wouldn't doubt my judgment when it comes to men. Maybe I would finally be able to get over what happened and put myself out there to meet someone.”
I sniffed and let out a humorless laugh. “I’m so screwed.”
Piper tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
I laughed again. “You're way stronger than me, Piper. You had me fooled, because I thought you were past all that. If you don't have your shit together, I don't stand a chance in hell.”
She shook her head. “That's what makes the difficult times in our life beautiful, and what makes humans so resilient.” My gaze narrowed. Piper patted my knee. “Adversity, Ky. It forces people to do things they never thought possible. Overcome obstacles they believed were too big to conquer. Some people, like me, get crushed when the pressure turns up, but you…” Piper studied me with her intelligent, all-seeing eyes. “You’re different. You're a fighter. Right now you probably think I'm crazy. Right now, you feel weak and helpless and trapped with no way out. But if there's one thing I'm good at, it's reading people,” Piper gave me a serious look. “And you won't go down without a fight.”
She was right about one thing. I did feel weak and helpless and trapped. I tried to take her words to heart, even if I didn’t quite trust them. Piper was no dummy, though. If she believed in me, I had to think positive.
A wave of fatigue crashed over me. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed, go to sleep, and turn off my brain for a little while.
After all, I had nine… er, eight, whole months to freak out.
Seb
“This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever had,” I muttered as I walked back and forth on the busy sidewalk, dodging a constant flow of pedestrians. When I almost crashed into an old lady and sent her sprawling, she gave me a suspicio
us side-eye. Probably thought I was nuts. Maybe I was.
An arctic blast slapped me upside the head. The sting and burn from the glacial current was so strong it felt like a sandblaster ground off my top layer skin. The temperature was cold enough that my breath puffed out in front of me in little clouds of mist. Even under my thick knit cap my ears were steadily going numb. I huffed in disgust.
Some Canadian I am.
I glanced up at the gleaming tower of luxury condos, then checked the time on my phone. Two hours. I’d been stalking Kylie in twenty-something-degree weather for two hours. Creepy? Definitely. But she wouldn’t return my texts or calls and I couldn’t stop obsessing. I guess what I needed was closure, at least, I think that’s the bullshit term they use. I needed to know what I did to make her cut me completely out of her life.
The front door of the building opened and, just like every other time since I arrived, it swung ajar. Unlike those times, instead of someone other than Kylie stepping into view, I glimpsed a flash of blonde hair and my breath caught in my throat.
Kylie.
She exchanged a few quick words with the doorman and trotted down the short flight of stairs without noticing me yet. At the bottom, Kylie paused and her expression grew confused. Slowly, as if she knew I was there, Kylie turned her head in my direction. Her shocked gaze locked onto me and my body ached with longing, lust and loss and need and a bunch of other shit I didn’t want to think too hard about. The flash bang of desire crackled and popped. It flickered and burned, consuming me from the inside out until I was on fire. A myriad of unfamiliar feelings swelled until they crowded my lungs and made it difficult to get enough air.
Kylie glanced around and I held my breath. The soft skin of her throat flickered as her pulse leapt and she tensed up, like she was about to do a repeat of that awful night and pull a runner.
Too fucking bad I had no intention of letting her get away. I hurried to close the distance between us until we stood almost nose-to-nose, er, nose-to-chin. Less than a minute exposed to the cold air and Kylie's cheeks and nose turned a rosy shade of pink. Her eyes sparkled and the sun backlit her hair so it shone like a golden halo around her head. She was breathtaking. An angel.
Kylie shifted from foot to foot and I realized she probably wanted to know why I ambushed her.
“Hi.”
I wanted to smack myself. Jesus. Fucking smooth, St. Clair.
Kylie blinked. “Hi. Umm, w-what are you doing here?”