The Other Side of the Pillow

* * *

We decided on Five Guys. Cheap, quick, greasy, and fattening. If we were going in, we might as well go in all the way.

We grabbed a table with high stools and started digging in like two hungry three-hundred-pound men.

“I’m starving. I skipped lunch today,” I said, trying to make an excuse for gorging myself, even though Winsome was doing the same.

“I had a big-ass lunch, but this food is my guilty pleasure.” A sliver of greasy fried onion fell down into the center of her breasts and she ignored it. “This shit is so good.”

“Aren’t you going to dig that out?”

“Dig what out?”

“That piece of onion that fell between your tits?”

Winsome took a sip of her Coke through a straw. “I’m not digging in my ta-tas in front of all these people.”

The place was crowded for a Thursday night, but no one probably would have noticed.

“That’s nasty.” I handed her a napkin. “Take that out.”

“Jemistry, listen, you have your etiquette rules and I have mine. We both have some nice racks and food will topple down there every now and then. I’m not going to draw attention to being clumsy with food by digging shit out in public. I wait until I go to the restroom, get home, or at least get in my car to do all that. If you want to yank your tits apart, clear out your bra, and do maintenance, do you.”

I fell out laughing and threw the longest fry that I could find in my collection at her face.

“You’re so childish!” she exclaimed.

“No, childish would have been aiming for the cavern between your tits and letting it keep that poor piece of onion company while your nasty ass leaves it down there suffering.”

“You are completely shot-out, Jemistry! Shot-out and sprung!”

I took a bite of another fry. “I’m not sprung. You’re tripping!”

“I saw Tevin dropping you off the other night. Why didn’t you invite him up?”

“Chile boo! Invite him up and have him walk in on you butt-ass naked doing a man, a woman, or both? I don’t even think so!”

“You still rubbing that shit up in my face after all this time. You have a new sofa, and I even threw in some new end tables and an entertainment center. Yet you’re still flapping your gums.”

“That’s because the visual is still implanted in my memory! It was traumatic!”

“Chick, please. As much porn as you have watched in your lifetime, that shit was minor. Stop acting all innocent, like you don’t get down. You still fucking Anthony and Gregory while Tevin is sweating your drawers?”

“Not that it is any of your business since I never fuck in front of you, but no, I am not.”

Winsome grabbed at her throat. “You gave up your side dick action for Tevin! Damn, he must be blowing that back out!”

Winsome started moving her hips and ass back and forth on the seat and moving her arms in the air like she was fucking.

“Interesting! You’re worried about someone seeing you dig a piece of onion out your tits, but you’ll yell out about dick and make fucking motions on a chair up in this mickey.”

“Damn!” Winsome reached down in her boobs, took the piece of onion out, and tossed it on the table. “Now I have set the motherfucking onion free. But back to what I was saying. Is the dick good?”

“I haven’t a clue. We’ve only kissed.”

Winsome rubbed her hands together and squinted at me.

“What’s that look for?” I asked.