Dirty Beasts
Page 16
A Frenchman frequently regales
Himself with half-a-dozen SNAILS!
The greedy ones will gulp a score
Of these foul brutes and ask for more.
(In many of the best hotels
The people also eat the shells.)
Imagine that! My stomach turns!
One might as well eat slugs or worms!
But wait. Read on a little bit.
You haven’t heard the half of it.
These French go even more agog
If someone offers them a FROG!
(You’d better fetch a basin quick
In case you’re going to be sick.)
The bits of frog they like to eat
Are thighs and calves and toes and feet.
The French will gobble loads and loads
Of legs they chop off frogs and toads.
They think it’s absolutely ripping
To guzzle frogs-legs fried in dripping.
That’s why the whole town and their wives
Were rushing us with carving-knives.
They screamed in French, “Well I’ll be blowed!
“What legs there are upon that toad!
“Chop them! Skin them! Cook them! Fry them!
“All of us are going to try them!”
“Toad!” I cried. “I’m not a funk,
“But ought we not to do a bunk?
“These rascals haven’t come to greet you.
“All they want to do is eat you!”