“No, not anytime soon at least.”
“How old is he?”
“He’ll be thirty-five next month. Pop is trying to get him to stay in Chicago for a little while longer, until then at least. He was going to leave tomorrow. For now he agreed to another week. His problem is his second-in-command isn’t as hard as he is when it comes to keeping things in order. In a city like Vegas, it isn’t a good idea to let anything go long enough for bad habits to form. So me and Pop are talking about me taking care of things for him while he goes out to spend time with Luca there.”
“I could help watch the bookstore,” I offer, a little excited at the idea of it.
“I’ll let Pop know you made the offer. Tonight he wants us over for dinner at his place. He’s having my cousins and their wives over to make introductions. Fair warning, they are going to be bringing their kids. Except maybe Che and Alicia, since the drive is long they don’t usually bring the kids out late.”
I nod. “Okay.”
Before I know it he’s standing and places me back on the bed. Immediately I miss him. I don’t dare let him see it, keeping my eyes down.
“As far as my family is concerned, especially Pop, this marriag
e isn’t a shitshow.”
I close my eyes at the description, at his ice-cold delivery.
“They’ll want to add their opinions and get into it. I don’t want him worried about anything other than getting to know Luca. If anyone asks, which they shouldn’t, I’m going to put it down to you losing Johnny. It’s the same reason I’ve given for us skipping the honeymoon. I lied and said we would reschedule in a month or two, so you’re on the same page if it’s mentioned.”
He’s gone. This time I go into the bathroom, turn on the shower and sit in the empty bathtub to cry so he doesn’t hear me.
21
Regina
From the window seat I’ve taken over as my spot in the library, I watch as Sergeant Riley and a woman I can only assume is his wife leave the building laughing and hugging each other. Closing my eyes against their joy, I lean my head against the glass.
It’s been seven weeks since the night I met the man the night before the wedding. I open my eyes just in time to see him put his hand on her stomach. My own stomach twists in bitter jealousy. They were no doubt here to tell Dominic and thank him for helping them get what they wanted. This time I squeeze my eyes so tight I see stars.
I’m living with a shadow. I hear him, can tell when he’s been home, but I rarely see him. It’s even rarer we’re in the same place for longer than a few minutes. Out of sheer desperation, I worked to get my body back to my old schedule.
I’m in bed by midnight, asleep by two, then I’m awake around eight or nine. I have breakfast, make a snack to take back to my room where I work on my translations until Dominic leaves the apartment. He’s having breakfast with his father again. It’s as if I’m not even here. The few times he walked into the library and found me here he looked through me. He got what he came in for and was gone again.
A few days after Johnny’s funeral, Dominic went to New York to settle Johnny’s business. I had no idea until Marco told me. He was gone for six days. Every day I wondered why it was taking so long, I came close to breaking down and asking Pop, yet every time I opened my mouth the shame of not being able to ask Dominic himself wouldn’t let me.
If it weren’t for Mary and Pop, I’m pretty sure I would have drowned in my misery. It was a few days after Dominic left for New York when Pop came to see me. As usual I was here in the library, but I was on the couch trying to take a nap because I hadn’t gotten much sleep.
I’m not sure if my dozing is the reason I didn’t hear the elevator; all I know is one moment I was drifting in and out of sleep, and the next I opened my eyes to find him standing over me, studying me. The shock of seeing him gave me a start.
“I apologize, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’ll leave you to rest.”
“No, please stay. I’m not—I won’t be able to get back to sleep. I’m not...please stay.” Sitting up, I curled into the corner of the couch. It was a little spooky how much he and Dominic looked alike, from their blue eyes to their frown.
With a sigh he sat down, unbuttoning his jacket. He wore the same three-pieces Dominic did, his silk suit a pale gray with the vest a black and dark gray checked pattern.
“Mary has mentioned your unhappiness. I promised myself I wouldn’t meddle again. Yet, I care for both you and my son too much not to...explain myself to you. Your father and I, we believed we were doing the right thing. Both of us for selfish reasons. I love my son deeply. He and Anthony were the best things to ever happen to me. Loving him doesn’t make me blind to his faults. I see him clearly. I also know him. I know he will be a good husband to you. He will take care of you and protect you with all he has inside him.”
I hadn’t been able to meet his eyes, intent on studying the stitching along the hem of my skirt. I knew he wanted me to agree with him. I did agree with him, only I didn’t trust myself to stop there.
“Johnny told me you would be Dominic’s wife when you were a week old. You were sick when you were born, some infection. The doctors told Johnny you were probably going to die. You proved them wrong. He came to me the very night you pulled through. Made me drink to your health. I was happy to. Then he told me to make sure Dominic stayed single and available because when the time came, you two would be married.”
Shaking his head, he studied his clasped hands. “I put it down to him being drunk. He was adamant, though. You weren’t even supposed to be here. Your mother had an IUD in. That she got pregnant at all was one thing, then for you to almost die and survive... Johnny felt it meant something. Dominic, one of his crew betrayed him, beat him, shot him, and left him for dead. He should have died. For three days the doctors weren’t sure how he didn’t die. Every night they thought it would be his last.”
“I didn’t know any of that. About me or Dominic. That’s where the scars came from.”
He nodded as he ran a hand through his hair, still thick and with more black than silver. “That’s where the scars came from. I honestly forgot about the whole conversation with Johnny. Then my nephews started getting married, having children. You’ve seen them, how happy they are. So happy they glow with it.”