Thank God. He grabbed the back of the pickup, holding on for dear life, praying all the while that she’d come back out that door, and not change her mind.
He thought about unhooking the trailer from the truck, but was afraid his hands wouldn’t work well enough for him to do it quickly. He was all about quickly, at least until they got where they were going. After that, he’d be all about making his time with Renie last forever.
Where was she? She was taking too long. He started to pace, but stayed close enough to the truck that he could grab hold of it if he needed to. When she came out of the front door, she had a bag with her, and a she wore a different jacket, one that fit her.
He opened the passenger door, and she climbed into the seat, but grabbed his coat as she did, pulling him to her. She kissed him again, so hard it almost hurt. He wanted to close his eyes and concentrate on how she felt, but he was too afraid. He needed to see her so he was sure this wasn’t a dream.
He couldn’t speak, he could hardly breathe.
She pulled away from him. “Let’s go.”
He walked around the pickup, steadying himself as he went. He hoped he’d be able to drive.
When he got in, Renie slid over and sat next to him. Somehow he managed to get the truck in gear using his left hand because his right arm was wrapped around her, and there was no way he’d let go.
He pulled up behind a house in town, and parked in the alley, out of the way of the other garages. When he got out, she followed. The lady at the rental office said the key would be in a lock box on the back door. He reached in and pulled the code out of his pocket, hoping his hands would be steady enough to punch it in. When it popped open on the first try, Renie grabbed the key and unlocked the door.
Shit—he didn’t have any condoms.
“Renie,” he found his voice. “I’m so sorry, I don’t have any—”
“It’s okay,” she said.
He didn’t want to think about why it was okay. He couldn’t let himself think about why it was okay. Why was it okay?
“No.” That was his voice. He’d said it. He said no.
“What do you mean?”
“Renie, I can’t.”
“You can’t what?”
“I need to go get condoms.”
“No, it’s okay, I grabbed these from Ben’s nightstand.” She had a handful.
He laughed. Why was that the funniest thing he’d ever heard? His body was misinterpreting his schizophrenic emotions, and now he was laughing.
Renie laughed too. She pulled the packets out of her pocket, and they laughed harder.
He stopped laughing and stalked toward her. She leaned her body into his, reached up, and kissed him. He lifted her into his arms and carried her inside, realizing then he had no idea where the bedrooms were.
He walked through the house, Renie in his arms, opening each door they came to, until they finally found a bedroom.
He set her down, wanting to rip every bit of clothing off her body, but she was way ahead of him, pulling it off faster than he could’ve torn it.
She was naked, standing in front of him. “Billy?”
He was still fully clothed, so she helped him undress. Once he was as naked as she was, she ripped open a condom packet and handed it to him.
Renie watched as he came toward her. He couldn’t wait, he needed to be inside her.
She reached for him, pushed him back on the mattress, and straddled him. She put her hands on his chest, and slowly took him deep inside her. He reached up and held her face in his hands. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he was afraid if he spoke, something would change. That he’d ruin it. That she’d stop. That he’d wake up.
He grabbed her hips and set his own rhythm. They both cried out as they came together.
Renie stayed where she was, leaned forward and rested her cheek near his heart. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as he could, and let her cry.