Found in Us (Lost 2)

"Serena doesn't know me very well."

"Helen does. And she's very confident that you are kind."

"That's because Helen hasn't met many people who've been kind to her," Parker says, and I hear his heartbeat intensify.

"You know, you will not be any less menacing to the people you do business with if you stop thinking you're a complete asshole."

That brings a rumble of laughter from him.

Playing with a few strands of my hair, he says, "No, you know what makes me think that maybe I'm not a complete asshole? I prefer the word arse, by the way."

I chuckle. "What?"

"The fact that you're with me. That someone selfless like you chose me. You take joy in every simple thing you do or come across. I want to be one of those simple things that bring you joy."

I lift my head from his chest, and press my forehead to his. "You, Parker, are anything but simple," I joke. "So what do you want me to be for you?"

"I want you to be my everything, Jessica," he whispers, and I melt right here in his arms. He caresses my cheek, pulling me into a kiss. His lips coax mine, claiming me, his tongue ravages mine. When we break off, gasping for air, he avoids my gaze, biting his lip as if he doesn't have the nerve to continue talking. I press my thighs against him in silent encouragement. "Everyone needs a light to guide them. I want you to be mine." He pulls me closer to him, burying his face in my neck, his heavy hot breaths grazing my shoulder. "If I asked you to never leave me, would that scare you?" Parker whispers.

"No. It would give me the courage to ask you the same."

Our lips touch again. Not in the same hungry, desperate way as before. Gently, almost fearful. Parker interlaces his fingers with mine, pushing himself against me, deepening the kiss. A kiss that demands everything. Just as he said before.

I've never wanted to give a man everything before. Until now. I want to give him my heart, my soul, along with all of the things I never knew were mine to give away. I want the same from him too. I want it all. The steady fire Serena always talked about—that thing that supposedly lasts beyond the consuming passion. I never sought that before. But I do now.

I want the fairy tale ending I've never believed in.

Chapter Nineteen

Parker

For the next few weeks, both Jessica and I seem to spend our time navigating between heaven and hell. The long hours at the office become more of a drag with each day. I begin to think that saving the company is impossible. Jessica's boss doesn't make life easy

for her, either.

“You really should consider applying for other jobs,” I tell her one night at dinner.

She shakes her head vehemently. “I like my job. Just not my boss. I’m not a quitter. I want to see this through.”

I don’t insist, because I need a clever plan to make her see that looking for something else wouldn’t mean that she’s a quitter. Just that she’s looking for a better opportunity. I think holding on to the job is a form of self-validation for her, and she needs it right now. But one day, I’ll make her see things from my perspective too.

I am so proud of her. She wants to succeed on her own and works hard for it. We spend every night together, splitting our time between my place and hers, hanging out with Dani too. She makes me a better man in every way, and I'd like to think I’m helping her in some way, too.

After work, she'll often ask me for advice, and we even rehearsed a presentation together a few times. As I watched her take me through her presentation notes, sitting cross-legged on the kitchen table, still wearing her work clothes, I had to admit she's no longer the little chaotic girl I first met in California.

She's a woman who knows what she wants and does all she can to achieve it—and be on her best behavior.

When she's in public.

When she's with me, she's all wild and untamed. And I allow myself to be wild with her. No restraints. Not in those moments when I make love to her, or during any moment that belongs only to us. I love every second I spend at her side... even when she drags me through London.

She was not shitting me. There really is a list with London’s prettiest streets, and Jessica wants to see them all. In all fairness, she’s not dragging me with her. I like our little trips through the town. I don’t even know most places on her list.

“Where are we heading today?” I ask while we climb into a cab. I’m picking her up from the museum.

“Prince’s Gate Mews.”

“What is there?”