I’ve prepared an entire speech. Actually, I’ve prepared quite a few variations, depending on how Blake will take the news. A big part of me hopes he’ll just take me in his arms, overcome with joy, and say we’ll figure this out together. The rational part of me is making contingency plans.
“Sushi!” Theresa exclaims when we reach the buffet. I look at the selection wistfully. The food selection includes other goodies too, thank goodness, because I’m not allowed to eat sushi. So instead, I load my plate with everything else. This week has been a bit terrible. I’ve had to give up coffee, and I feel permanently jet-lagged. On the bright side, I have zero morning sickness.
“Why aren’t you eating sushi? Not a fan?” Theresa asks as we walk away from the too-crowded buffet area and sit in the chairs in the waiting area by the elevators.
“I love sushi, but sadly I can’t eat it right now.”
“Pregnant?”
I wince, and I can feel my eyes widening. Theresa’s eyes widen too. Crap. She was just stabbing in the dark, but I gave myself away.
“Yeah, I’m pregnant.” The corners of my mouth lift up in a smile all by themselves as I say this. I realize I haven’t said it out loud since the doctor gave me the news. I haven’t told anyone. I couldn’t possibly tell any of the Bennetts before talking to Blake, and Penny has been buried in deadlines all week. “Six weeks.”
“Wow, how will this work if you get the position?”
I’m about to say I haven’t thought that far when a familiar voice booms from behind me.
“You’re pregnant?”
I literally leap to my feet, whirling around. Blake is standing just outside the elevator, feet planted wide, a bag of takeout in his left hand. My stomach rumbles at the smell. Something from Blue Moon, by the package. I don’t even care what it is. Everything from there is delicious. I cleared my plate, and I’m still hungry.
“Clara?” Blake’s voice snaps me back to the matter at hand, which is far more important than my all-consuming hunger.
“I’ll leave you two,” Theresa says, right before she scurries off with her plate.
“What are you doing here?”
“Wanted to surprise you with lunch. Roast beef. Your favorite. Thought it would bring you luck.” He places the takeout bag on one of the chairs. “You’re pregnant?” he repeats, frowning now. My entire body tenses. I’ve seen Blake frown maybe a dozen times since I’ve known him. I was hoping this wouldn’t be an occasion for frowning.
“Yes, I have...I mean I am....” Jesus, why can’t I whip two words together in a coherent sentence? Sweat dots my palms, and I wipe them both on my jeans. I wish he’d crack a joke. I wish I’d crack a joke, but my brain isn’t cooperating. The grim set of his mouth really isn’t helping. I could use a smile. I’d be grateful even for the hint of a smile.
“Six weeks? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I haven’t known for six weeks. I went to the doctor like we talked about, so I could get birth control. And that’s when I discovered.”
“You went to the doctor last week,” he points out. There’s still not a hint of smile on his face. “Is this why you’ve been so distant?”
A knot lodges in my throat. “I didn’t know how you’d take the news.”
“What do you mean you didn’t know how I’d take it? Why are you so nervous? You don’t want the baby?”
“I’m—” My voice catches. I shake my head, closing my eyes. The image of the tiny shoes pops up in my mind. “I can’t believe you asked me that,” I finish weakly.
“Clara Abernathy!” a voice resounds from deeper inside the waiting room. “Your interviewer is waiting.”
“I have to go.”
“I can wait until your next break.”
“Don’t.”
“Clara—” he tries again.
“Please don’t. I have a gazillion more interviews, and I want to have a clear head.”
Without waiting for his reply, I turn my back to him and head straight to my interview room.
***