Dad Bod (Under Construction 1)

Shoot me dead. I just want Bryn to go ahead and block my airway with this banana. At least I can say I died a unique yet tragic death by deep throating fruit.

“Game! And our winners are Jordan and Bryn! Jo sucked the flavor right off every cock, and she guessed them right!”

Oooooh-kay, and those are the words for my tombstone. Fuckin’ Laney. We don’t need to elaborate the commentary any further. I’m sure it’s quite obvious to the wandering eye what the details of this game entail. Why describe it any further? Oh, but see… I totally know why. Because I’m obviously still alive!

I push the blindfold off my face and stand from the couch. “I think I need some air,” I tell Bryn as I hurry past Carter, Maverick, Madden and half a dozen other men I’m not familiar with, and out the back door.

I climb on the porch swing and pull my legs underneath me. My cheeks are flamed red with humiliation, and I’m sure my blood pressure is running hot too. “Jo, you okay?” Bryn asks, cautiously making her way toward me.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just got too hot in there with so many people around.”

“Who are you kidding, Jo? I know you better than that. Wanna talk about it?”

Not really, but it’s easier to give her the cliff-notes version and get her off my ass now, than to have Laney intruding too. She has plenty of people to entertain, so I’m sure she won’t be out here for a bit. Thankfully.

“I’m just not like Laney, Bryn. She’s guns blazing, all in your face, while I’m more modest and quiet. I’m happy being me, but she loves to showboat.” It’s then I realize tears are falling, and well, I just can’t have that shit. I do not cry in front of others, ever. I’m stronger than this, and I don’t show weakness.

“It’s Madden, isn’t it? You’re developing feelings for him, and him seeing you in a compromising position like that embarrassed you. Am I right?”

I absorb her words, letting them soak into my veins.

And I realize.

She’s right.

I’m falling for Madden, but that’s a crossroads I’m not prepared to cross.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MADDEN

“Sorry I’m late, man. Didn’t think Belle was ever gonna fall asleep.” Carter hands me a beer as I take a seat beside him around the fire pit that I helped him build last spring. We did a damn fine job if I do say so myself. It was the perfect addition to the awesome backyard my oldest and dearest friends already had. Everything from the pool to the party lights, lounge chairs and flat screen mounted on the outside wall of the house just scream—‘sit your fat

ass down here and don’t move for the rest of the night’

“No worries, man, just glad your sorry ass could make it. There’s still plenty of food if you’re hungry.”

“Nah thanks. I ate at Belle’s friend’s birthday party.”

“Birthday party?” Mav raises his brow in question and looks at me confused. “I thought your ass was on a date?”

“Where you been, Mav? The date was last night, and it was an epic fail.” Carter turns to me. “But you survived a kid’s birthday party without passin’ out? Way to go, fucker.” He hold his hand up for a fist bump, but I leave him hanging. Too soon asshole, too soon.

“Did you get some pussy?” Mav smirks.

“At a preschooler’s birthday party? No. That would make me a child predator, you sick fuck.”

“Bah! Mav’s a damn pedophile! How did we not fuckin’ know?” Carter spews, spraying beer in the process.

“Motherfuckin’ hell, you demented bastards. You know damn well I meant—did you get pussy on your date. But no, y’all wanna go twistin’ shit up. Next time I’ll borrow Belle’s crayons and colorin’ book and will draw y’all a damn picture instead of asking the question.”

“There he goes again, wantin’ to play with the kiddies.” Carter chugs back a swig of beer.

And because I cannot let the perfect opportunity pass, I add in my most serious voice, “So it was you who snagged Belle’s princess coloring book?”

“Mav looks at the princesses and it makes him,” Carter takes a deep breath for dramatic effect and singsongs in his best girl voice, “Leeetttttt itttt gooooo.” I just roll my eyes and chuckle because that was pretty damn funny and let’s be honest, Elsa was kind of hot. And now I’m just as pervey as Mav. Jesus.

Add new friends to the long list of things I’m in search of. This crew is sick as hell. I have to get us back on track because I can see this conversation maybe resulting in a need for therapy. I have a young daughter. A young daughter who loves Frozen. I’m talking loves Frozen so much we watch it on the regular. I will never be able to watch it with her again.