“She was with ya, wasn’t she? She loves your daughter like she’s her own. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Colton. It’s how I wished a woman looked at me.”
“What about the baby, Luke? What the hell am I supposed to do if that baby’s yours?” Luke pinches the bridge of his nose while shakin’ his head.
“Big picture, Colton. Stay focused. The most important thing right now is that you fight for Carly and that she knows how much you love her. She’s sick all the time, and she’s scared because she’s basically doin’ all of this alone. She needs you. That’s what matters right now. You make amends, promise her the forever she deserves then worry about everything else as it comes.”
“Shit, man. Are you serious? Do you not even care that the baby might be yours, or that another man may end up raisin’ it? Or are you prayin’ that you get to skimp out on raisin’ a kid in this hell hole?” I say, tossin’ my hands about on display of the room we’re sittin’ in.
“Weston, first of all, don’t act like you know me. Just because I came from shit, don’t make me shit. You don’t know the man I am today, only what you see. And we both know you only see what the hell yo
u wanna see. Blind as hell. Secondly, I promised Carly the day she told me that she was pregnant that I would stand by her, hand in hand through any storm life brings her, and I always keep my promises. But I also told her that I prayed that baby she’s carryin’ belongs to you. Because you’re the man her heart belongs too.” He says pointin’ his finger at me as his voice escalates. “I can never love her like you can, Colton. So why try? I’m bein’ the bigger man, stepping back and lettin’ Carly have the happiness she deserves. I’ll be a part of Carly’s life for as long as she wants me in it, but as a friend only. If the baby’s mine, I’ll take care of it. But just because I may be the daddy doesn’t mean that you and Carly can’t move on together.”
“Cause it’s just that simple?”
“If you’re dumbass would quit over analyzin’ shit, yes, it’s just that simple. Man, look at it like this. You and Carly Jo keep being pulled back into each other lives like the rotation of the earth depends on your connectivity. It’s fate. She left you when she found out about that druggie at the mines, but now she’s pregnant and it just might be yours. Sure, karma bein’ the bitch that she is keeps tossin’ shit in your path, but if you’ll fight hard enough, Fate will kick Karma’s ass every time.” He looks down, pullin’ in a deep breath as anguish mars his face. “I’ve loved with every ounce of my being, only to have everything that I love, everything that made my life worth living, stripped from me. Never take the woman you love for granted.”
I scrub my hand against my chin lettin’ the day old scruff scratch my fingers as I soak in Luke’s advice. I ain’t about to ask about his inner demons. Men don’t chit chat and trade stories and shit. Hell no, that shit’s for pussies. “Man, that’s some deep shit.” He tosses his head back and laughs before continuin’.
“So, you got that shit figured out. How ‘bout all this damage, huh?”
“Yeah man, what the hell happened in here?”
Luke’s laughter stops and he just peers at me, dazed. “Shit, you seriously don’t remember?” I shake my head, because I ain’t got a clue what the hell he’s talkin’ about.
“The night Carly told you about us, you came over. You flattened my Harley, leaving it in pieces, literally. You rammed my truck, then ripped the screen door off the hinges tryin’ to get inside to get your hands on me.”
“That’s what happened to the splintered door jamb?” I ask in astonishment, and Luke nods. “What the hell did I do?” I mutter.
“When you got inside, you had your hands around me in seconds and that was that. You’re worse than a damn bull in a China shop when you’re pissed. You really don’t remember, anything?”
“No man, not a damn thing. I remember leavin’ Carly Jo’s house and her wakin’ me up three days later. Nothin’ in between.”
“I thought for sure you would have killed me if our fight wouldn’t have woke my old man up. But the gun against your neck sent you runnin’ outta here with your tail between your legs, thank God.” He laughs, but I shoot him a deadpan glare that reins him back a bit.
“Man, I’m sorry for everything. I’ll pay for all of the damages. I’ll have my insurance adjuster get in contact with you this week about your bike and truck.” I sigh. “Thank you, Luke. Thanks for bein’ there for Carly Jo when I wasn’t man enough to put my insecurities aside. Thanks for bein’ a friend when she needed it most. I don’t know how she’ll ever forgive me, but I think puttin’ this shit between us,” I say motionin’ between him and me, “behind me, may just be the right track.” Luke nods, silently acceptin’ my apology and gratitude. As I stand to leave, I offer him a hand shake, to which he accepts.
To forgive and forget. That’s the only way I’ll get past this shit storm. Now I pray that I can win my girl back after all the pain I’ve caused her.
Chapter 9
I don’t want to move on alone, but I’ve been left with no other choice. My baby deserves a family. Luke doesn’t have the emotional stability to be a father, not with the ghosts of his past haunting him. Colton? He simply doesn’t want me or the baby.
When I left Colton’s house last Friday night, I promised myself that I would give him the time and space that he needed to come around. But here I sit wrapped in a stiff paper gown, with dry paper sticking to my ass, tearing tiny holes into the bench of the exam room…all alone. He knew I had a follow up appointment today. I truly thought that giving him nearly two weeks to blow off steam would have given him a clearer sight of our future, but apparently it hasn’t.
Dr. Staton enters the room, pulling me from the depressing thoughts that evade my tired mind. I’m truly sick of worrying over this elusive heartache, but it will never leave me. “Carly Jo, you are terribly pale. How’s the morning sickness?” The good doctor asks with a concerned expression as she pulls the rolling stool beneath her to sit. She opens her laptop then begins scrolling through my chart, nodding silently to herself as she waits for my reply.
“I’m fine, Dr. Staton. Just tired is all.”
“Mmhmm, I see. Have you been taking the pre-natal vitamins I prescribed you? Drinking plenty of water and getting lots of rest?” She asks, peeking out of the corner of her eye. I shake my head up and down with a low mutter.
“Fatigue is common in the first trimester, my dear. Try not to worry, the second trimester is well within site. Now, I see here that your CBC panels all look nice. Let’s have a look and listen, shall we?” She says as she motions for me to lie back against the stiff exam table. I lie back pinching my eyes shut as Dr. Staton does her poking and prodding. She pulls a measuring tape from her jacket pocket, stretching it across my abdomen, then makes notes on her notepad. She squeezes blue, cold goop on my belly then scans the top of my abdomen with the Doppler. A loud swooshing sound fills the room almost immediately. Tears fill my eyes hearing this miraculous sound for the very first time. Seeing the pink lines on the pregnancy test only told me I was expecting, but hearing this amazing sound makes it real. Dr. Staton smiles down at me as she concentrates on the baby’s heartbeat.
After she has finished her exam, she asks me to get dressed then to meet her in her office. I wet a napkin to clean the smeared blue goop from my stomach, but ain’t nothing but a shower gonna clean away that nasty residue. Pulling my clothes on quickly, I gather my things and make my way down to Dr. Staton’s office. She is concentrating on entering her notes when I take a seat on the opposite side of her desk. When she realizes my presence she closes her laptop, giving me her full attention.
“Everything looks really well. The baby is growing right along with your expected due date.” She pulls her glasses from her face, and peers at me before releasing a short sigh. “Have you talked to the possible fathers yet, Carly? You’re still a few weeks away from being able to get a conclusive reading on the Pre-natal Paternity Test. Have either possible father agreed to the test yet?”
“I have. Both men are aware of the situation, and one has agreed to be tested so far.”
“Only one?” She questions.