“It could have been me?” A laugh escapes my throat as I shake my head. “It could have been me, huh? Yeah, it could have been, but it wouldn’t have been if we took this even further back.”
“I don’t understand,” he says carefully.
“If it weren’t for you, I would never know about Primal,” I say with a hiss in my voic
e. “I wouldn’t know that I am different. I wouldn’t know that my parents were some sort of freak experiment, that I was some kind of freak experiment.”
My hand is shaking and laughter, a maniacal melancholy laugh, breaks from my chest. Sebastian’s eyes are tracking me, a look of bewilderment followed by a guilt is rushing across his face. I put my hands together and touch the tips of my fingers to my lips, trying to gather some sort of ability to control myself.
“Those THINGS would never have come after me, never hurt the people I love, NEVER KILLED MY HUSBAND ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT, if it wasn’t for you,” I continue. “Everything good in my life has been taken from me in the blink of an eye, and I am standing in a barn with a bracelet that will never get another charm. I am standing alone, and all I can think is how I wish it had been me.
How I failed my own husband by having faith in someone that is selfish and spoiled in his own dog skin.”
“Clarissa,” he says, shaking and sad.
“Just go,” I reply, turning and walking back toward the table.
“Go and leave me alone in my misery. If I am lucky, they will come back for me.”
I can feel him standing there, staring at the back of my head, hoping that I will change my mind and turn back, but I can’t, not now, not ever. I hold tightly to the card from Kyle, listening to Sebastian’s feet shuffle around. He opens the barn door, the sound of rain intruding, and then shuts it behind him as he
leaves. I stand there for a moment, that silence creeping back on me, pulling me in, embracing me. Maybe I like the silence. Maybe it’s all I should ever have because everything I love ends up dead.
My chest tightens, and I slump down, falling onto the floor and pulling my knees to my chest. Tears flood my eyes and I let go, letting the emotions take over. I am alone, and that is never going to change.
Chapter 3
~ Sebastian
My breathing is heavy and labored, my fur drenched to the skin.
I’ve run all night getting to Theo and Toshi, and they are finally close, ahead in the old abandoned factory on the hill.
They wanted to be there for Clarissa, but after seeing her reaction, I am glad it was just me. I need to shift back into my human form, but first, I have to find the bag I hid in the field, knowing I would be back there soon. I take in a deep breath of air, trying to pick up the scent. There it is, about fifteen feet away in an overgrown bush. I step forward, my furry clawed paws morphing and changing as I move toward the bush. My body begins to contort as I take that last step. I stand tall, the rain running over my naked human body.
I open the bag and pull out my clothes, quickly putting them on and slipping my feet into my old brown boots with the leather peeling off the toe. I can see a light flashing in the factory, and I know it is the bear, trying to fit his giant ass through the doorway. I figure they have been there for a while, and Toshi is probably driving him through the roof. I walk through the tall grass and up to the door, opening it quickly and stalking through to where I can smell Toshi purring from the rafters. He swings down and lands nimbly beside Theo, who looks cramped in the room that is not that small.
“Well look who it is,” Toshi says with a smirk. “The guy that can’t get the girl without getting her husband killed.”
“Knock it off,” Theo says, his deep bear voice reverberating in my chest. “We know it wasn’t on purpose.”
“Thanks.” I scoff.
“What happened up there?” Theo asks. “Why did you not protect Kyle? Bitter or not, you know he was part of this team. He was key to Clarissa’s normal, out of the spotlight, human life.”
“You think I did this on purpose?” I am angry, stepping forward into the light from the moon covering the old dusty floor. “You think I let him die when I could have saved him?”
“Nooo,” Toshi says looking at his nails. “We’re just saying that its mighty suspicious that Kyle got the girl your doggy sense was hooked on and now she is single, though really not ready to mingle.”
“Look cat,” I say with a growl. “You won’t be so smug when you join him. Maybe you should think about how this is partly your fault.”
“My fault?” he says. “I thought you were over the whole betrayal thing. You know I love her. You know I want her to be happy. I would have protected Kyle, saved him.”
“Hey!” Theo bellows stepping between us. “Enough is enough. I just want to know what happened.”
“I made a mistake,” I reply, running my hands through my hair. “I thought the house was safe. I wasn’t going to stand right there and stare at them while they had sex. I thought that I checked everywhere in the house. I was wrong. It is my fault, okay?”
I turn and walk over to the window, looking out at the moon. The truth is, it was my fault, but not because I didn’t check the house good enough. It was because I was jealous. I had connected with Clarissa. She was supposed to be my mate, and I couldn’t stand the sight of watching them get happily married. I know I should have been there. I knew the moment it happened that I fucked up, but I couldn’t tell them that.