Out of Character (True Colors 2)

“Okay.” Like I could have refused right then. My pulse thrummed, anticipation and nerves in equal measure. “I have supplies too, you know. Could have saved the cash.”

He offered me a crooked grin. “I figured you might, but I didn’t want to presume. Really wanted to be able to do this tonight. Together.”

“Nice.” I kissed him back, but I couldn’t let go of a rogue thought that kept making my neck prickle. “Does that bug you? That I’ve done it before?”

“Not really. I mean, like, I’m mad jealous, but also glad one of us knows what they are doing.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that…” My laugh had a definite nervous edge to it. “Don’t want to get your expectations too high here.”

“It’s you. And you haven’t let me down yet.”

If he hadn’t already snagged my heart earlier, he’d have it now. All his. His belief in me, his absolute trust, meant the world to me. I only hoped I could find it in me to trust him, trust us, half as much as he trusted me. And I didn’t want to let him down either. My hands shook as I pulled him close. I wanted to make all his dreams come true and just hoped I was up to the task.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Milo

“I don’t want to ever let you down.” Jasper was way too serious for a guy about to get lucky.

“You won’t.” I matched his somber tone. And I truly believed that. He wasn’t the type to maliciously fail me or to stop trying. He cared, and the fact that he’d slowed down enough to talk about this was proof.

“You’re awfully sure of that.” Jasper bumped shoulders with me, still not back to the kissing and joking mood we’d been in before. The music was slow and nostalgic, which made me more relaxed and talkative than was maybe wise.

“I am. And I’m the one who let you down. You…you’re the most reliable, generous person I’ve ever known.” I wasn’t sure whether I could ever apologize enough, and my stomach churned with worries that never totally went away.

“You can’t keep beating yourself up for past mistakes.” Jasper squeezed my hand. Yup, kind and generous to a fault. “You were really brave tonight. That matters. And I want us to move on. Forward. Together.”

“Together,” I echoed before kissing him, putting all my surging emotions into it, all the things I didn’t even have words for. I meant what I’d said at the ball. I wanted an us, however scary and unlikely that concept might be.

We tumbled backward on the bed, kissing for long moments, before I finally pulled away to catch my breath.

“We’re gonna ruin our costumes.” I laughed as I grabbed for my backpack and retrieved the things I’d bought with flaming cheeks at the store earlier that day.

Jasper made fast work of removing his costume down to his boxer briefs, and my body took notice of all his creamy skin and adorable freckles. I was down with anything that got us horizontal again fast, but I still carefully stripped off my toga and set it on the chair with our coats, loving how Jasper watched my every move like a kid waiting for an ice cream cone.

“You really want to do this? I’m totally good with what we’ve been doing,” Jasper said as I climbed back onto the bed.

“Me too. Love all that we’ve tried. But…I’ve spent a lot of years alone in my room fantasizing about this too.” Admitting that made my face go from warm to supernova, and I had to study the comforter instead of Jasper. “And I want it to be you.”

“Wow.” Jasper rewarded my honesty with a gentle kiss, and figuring we were finally out of things to say, I tried to tug him backward. But he resisted. “But…um… can you be more specific?”

“Specific?” I wasn’t sure I had much if any talent for dirty banter. And we’d agreed to do it, so I didn’t know what else we were supposed to talk about.

Jasper wasn’t giving up easily either, bumping my shoulder. “Like, when you have this fantasy, what are you doing? And for the record, I’m good with any answer there.”

“Oh.” Now I got it. My skin prickled because I’d thought that part went without saying, but of course Jasper the king of careful consent was going to make me spell it out. “Uh…I’m not the one doing. You are. That’s what I want.”

“Yeah?” A grin slowly spread across his face as he stroked my cheek.

“Yeah.” He was going to kill me slowly, all this talking, but I did love how much care he was showing.

“It can be a little uncomfortable the first time. Like, not everyone enjoys penetrative play—”

“Love your big words,” I growled, tugging him until he was on top of me. This time he went easily. “And I didn’t say I’d never fooled around on my own. I know what I like.”