I like it so much it actually hurts.
* * *
After explaining my past with Callum, I tell East and River too, wanting us all to be on the same page. It’s hard— they know things about me I always try to hide, but at the same time, they have seen me in a state no one else ever has—as a freaking wolf.
And so, I tell them all the gory details of my childhood—the fucked-up foster moms and the perky foster dads. I tell them about why I got separated from Sadie all those years ago, why I got kicked out of art school—how I constantly screw myself over.
In some ways, I want my past to shock them—horrify them even, make them rethink their decision to keep me here.
Because, to be honest, I kinda feel like I’m using them.
And maybe leaving now, before my heart is all wrapped up in theirs, would be for the best.
I’ve told myself this for three days straight, but then I wake up and see their smiling faces and I can’t bear to go.
Like I said, I’m selfish.
Today, I pad down the stairs, smelling coffee and something sweet as I walk into the kitchen where the three guys are talking heatedly.
“What am I missing now?” I ask, reaching for a mug in the cabinet. I know when I reach my arm up, my butt cheeks are in plain sight, and I’m not wearing panties.
“You know how hard it is to argue when you walk in here, looking like that,” East jokes.
I smile, pouring coffee and adding creamer. “And what is it you’re arguing about?”
“Cal wants to go to the pack meeting.”
My lips purse, knowing there must be more to this. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“It’s not bad,” Callum says a little defensively. “I just want to go and see what people are up to.”
River shakes his head. “Not true. You want to go and show off your mate.”
I pull up a chair and join them at the circle table in the breakfast nook and listen.
“It’s not about that.”
“Bullshit.” East cuts a piece of coffee cake from the center of the table and offers it to me. “Just got it in town this morning.”
I swallow, feeling nervous every time they mention town… wondering if they will hear something about a murderer on the loose. East doesn’t say anymore though, instead, he turns back to Callum.
“I thought we didn’t give a shit about the rest of the pack? We disagreed with one thing and they practically threw us out.”
Callum looks at me across the table. “Fine, you’re right. I do want to show off Rem.” My cheeks grow hot as he looks at me. “I want them to know Remedy is ours.”
13
Remedy
The mood changes when Cal says I’m theirs. They all turn to look at me as if wondering if his words will scare me—make me run. But it isn’t the first time he’s said it.
But for some reason, it feels like the first time I understood he wasn’t joking, exaggerating. No. When Cal says I am his—he means it with his heart and soul.
“And how does Rem feel about this? Wasn’t part of the reason we fought with the pack in the first place was that we disagreed with the way they treated their women? And now we will just go and put Rem on a pedestal, for everyone to inspect? No fucking way,” East says.
“What’s a pack meeting like?” I ask, using the fork to take a bite of the cake.
“It’s a once a month gathering,” River explains. “Malik, the pack leader, gives updates on the pack and announcements are made. Usually, there’s a bonfire after.”
“And women, they attend?”
The guys nod. East stands and gets himself a coffee refill. Pouring his cup, he says, “Yeah, and kids too. It’s a social thing as well as clearing up business.”
“Which is why I don’t understand why everyone is so opposed to this. Rem is going to need to meet other women in the pack. Our child is going to––”
“Don’t bring the child into this,” River says with a scowl. “Your motives are off, Cal, admit it. You want to show Rem off, that’s it.”
“Fine,” Cal shouts. “What’s so fucking wrong with that, anyway? Rem is everything to me. To us. And I want the rest of the pack to know that.”
My heart swells. Even if Cal wants to show me off, part of me takes pleasure in the idea that he thinks I’m worthy of being shown off. No one in my life has ever taken pride in me… yet Callum looks at me know with such devotion, so much respect—my heart seems to double in size.
“I’ll go,” I say, bringing my coffee cup to my lips.
“You’ll what?” East snorts. “That’s insane, Rem. Malik will be pissed that we’re sharing you.”