I tilt my head to the side. “What do you mean?”
Cal shrugs. “Malik changed the way we mate. Back in the day, our pack always had groups that shared one woman, then when he came into power, things shifted. Pun unintended.”
“So, for you guys to go against the grain, it will be kind of a big deal?”
River runs a hand over his jaw. “It’s gonna be an epic clusterfuck.”
A hint of a smile is playing on my lips.
“What?” East asks, the flecks of gold in his eyes revealing doubt in whatever I’m about to say. “I know you’re up to something, Rem.”
I shrug. “I told you I have a problem with authority.”
“And?” River asks.
“The idea of showing up with the three of you, pregnant, as your mate—it feels badass. They basically kicked you out, and now you are coming back stronger than ever.”
Callum grins—loving this idea, as I knew he would. River and East, however, don’t seem as thrilled.
“I have a bad feeling about this,” River says.
But I reach for his hand across the breakfast table. Pasting a smile on my face, I ask him, “Don’t you want the world to know I’m yours?”
“And when did you decide that?” East asks. “The last few days you’ve doubted your place here. Now that you have a chance to cause a scene, you’re all in?”
I raise my eyebrows, not wanting to be called out like this, by East of all people. I want him to be on my side or no side at all.
“God, I just thought it sounds fun,” I toss back. I pull back my hand from River, burying my fists under the table. East has gotten a rise out of me and I feel anger growing in my belly. More than what matches the actual situation at hand.
My selfish desires are surfacing in a way that makes me uncomfortable, but I don’t know how to rein them in.
“I don’t want to fight about this,” River says.
“Too late,” I say, my voice laced with heat.
“Can we all rewind about two minutes and go back to Rem walking in here without any panties on?” East asks trying to downplay the tension.
“I don’t want to go if this is just a game to you, Rem,” River says quietly. “I’ll go to the meeting if you have genuine feelings for us—but not to go stick it to the man.”
River’s honesty makes me feel like a fraud. I hate the idea of disappointing him, of messing this all up. The ground rumbles beneath me and a plate hanging on the wall falls to the floor. I don’t know why it keeps happening, the shaking of the ground when I’m upset—but it’s impossible to ignore.
Everyone looks around, bracing themselves for a larger quake, but my fists unclench, and suddenly I’m exhausted.
It’s not a joke to me at all but I don’t know how to say that. Or how to admit to them that, yes, whatever we have here is special.
Because every time I’ve had something good in my life, it’s been taken from me.
And I can’t handle that again.
“I think I should leave,” I tell them, forcing a blank look on my face. I will not let them know how much they matter. I will not let them see that I need them. “River’s right. This is nothing but a game to me.”
“Fuck that,” Cal says, shocking me with his forceful words. He pushes away from the chair, pacing the kitchen. Stopping in front of me, spinning my chair from the table, dropping to his knees. “I don’t believe you, Remedy. Not for a minute.”
“Stop it,” I say, blinking back tears. Telling myself to get a grip. But Cal’s hands are on my face, forcing our eyes to meet.
“I’m not letting you run, little wolf. Not this time.”
I shake my head, but he holds it steady.
“Yes, I want to put you in a pretty dress and show you off to everyone I know. I want them to see you on my arm, holding my hand, kissing my lips. I want the fucking pack to understand what you mean to me.”
“And what do I mean to you, Cal?” I ask in nothing but a whisper.
“I mean that I love you, Remedy, and I won’t let you doubt it.”
The words shock me. The only person to have ever said they love me is Sadie. And since I recently killed her boyfriend, I’m not so sure as to where we stand anymore. I want to believe his words. To believe that someone would look at me and want me to stay. To be theirs.
I don’t know how to respond—it feels too good to be true. It’s also the most terrifying thing in the world. Behind Cal, River and East stand, arms crossed, and I wonder if they’re concerned as to where they fit into Callum’s confession of love.