“Away, as if you’re going on vacation,” I muttered, so mired in fear and fury I couldn’t feel my body anymore, it was just one giant supernova of heat and mindless anger. “You’re going to jail. When Yara and I worked so hard to keep you out because there are people in there who want to kill you!”
“I can take care of myself.” His eyes were dark places in people’s nightmares as he spoke that cold words that clicked against his teeth.
I shivered despite myself.
There was no doubt Dante was as terrifying a man as I had ever known. Of course, I knew he could take care of himself, but that didn’t mean I wanted him to be in a position to have to watch his back every hour or every day.
I told him that and he laughed grimly.
“I already do that. I’m a camorrista, Elena, I have eyes in the back of my head to watch for knives even during times of peace. There is no rest for the wicked because the wicked are never content with the status quo for long.”
“I won’t forgive you for going,” I told him recklessly, lashing out with my words because he still held my arms and I really wanted to pummel him with my fists. “I won’t forgive you for leaving me like this. I left my whole life for you and now, what, you’re asking for me to take it back?”
“Mai,” he snapped, shaking me a little as if I was losing my mind. Maybe I was. “Never, Elena. You are mine and I am yours. No space or time will change that.”
“Death will.”
“I will not die in prison. If the great di Carlo brothers and Rocco Abruzzi couldn’t kill me, I doubt some two-bit criminals in prison will.”
“Don’t make light of this, please.” Usually I loved his levity in every situation, but this was too much.
I was scared
I was scared because he had finally found the heart of me… the real me sunk deep under layers of armor. The real me who hadn’t seen the light of day in years. Or maybe, ever.
He’d found me and brought me into the light where I found I glowed.
And now, he was threatening to take away the two people I had fallen in love with over the last few months.
Him.
And me.
Tears rushed to my eyes, surprising me because I wasn’t finished being angry. “It feels like you’re abandoning me.”
“I’m not,” he stated firmly, bringing me into his chest where he cradled me tenderly against his body. “Just as I know you won’t abandon me while I’m in there. I’ll find a way to pay the fine and return to you. Then you’ll find a way to put this RICO case behind us both for good.”
I stared blindly at his black shirt as he held me, listening to the steady thud of his heart against my cheek. It lulled me more than his words had, reminding me that what he had between couldn’t die unless both of us did. It was in our blood and bones, in every beat of our hearts.
Even if he was in jail, we’d still belong to each other.
“I’ve always had to work so hard at everything. You shouldn’t have to fight this hard to be loved,” I whispered, feeling suddenly tired, defeated.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Elena? Fighting for love is an endless battle and it’s also the most epic war you’ll ever wage. I promise you, you find the right person, you’ll be willing to die on that battlefield, scarred and victorious. Why do you think I’m willing to do this?” He tipped my chin up so I had to look though my tear glazed eyes into his own coal dark ones. “I want to take ownership of my actions so that you have choices. So that you don’t have to spend the rest of your life as a fugitive from a country you fought hard to be a part of and succeed in. I won’t take that from you because I love you.”
“I’m not asking you to martyr yourself for me,” I countered. “It kills me that you think I need that when I’m being honest in saying I don’t. The old Elena needed the white wedding in the society pages and the nice brownstone and the office on the top floor. This Elena, your Elena, only needs you, our family, and a sense of adventure.”
“This is our next adventure,” he said in a way I knew he had made up his mind and would not be swayed. “I won’t leave New York a bleeding wound and run off to greener pastures. You deserve more. Addie, Chen, Jacopo, Frankie and maybe Marco deserve more not to mention all the other men in the outfit. They could die because I’m their boss. How can I let them die when I’m not even there to fight with them?”