Of Love & Regret (Madison & Logan 1)

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked softly, his eyes warm.

“I think you mentioned something about it earlier,” I said with a smile. He leaned down and touched his lips to mine, slowly deepening the kiss. I returned the kiss, opening my mouth and encouraging him to increase the pressure.

We moved into the bedroom, and Adam took the time to arouse me with his hands and mouth before shedding his own clothes. Our lovemaking may have lacked the fierce intensity that I read about in romance books and secretly coveted, but I didn’t know how realistic they were. Being with Adam was soft and satisfying, and after we were done, he cuddled me close so that we were spooning. I told myself that this was more than enough, and I had to stop taking our relationship for granted. I vowed to try harder to reconnect with Adam and rediscover the love that had been fading.

As I drifted off to sleep, I found myself wondering whether Logan would be busy tomorrow and if I would get a chance to see him.

Chapter Two

Adam left early Saturday morning with the excuse of going to the gym. He was a morning person, full of cheer and vigor at the crack of dawn, while I had to drag myself out of bed and drink multiple cups of coffee before I could function like a human being.

I was on my third cup of coffee when I called Logan.

“What are you doing?” I asked, not bothering with pleasantries.

“Trying to sleep.” His voice was groggy, and I could almost see his grumpy expression. “It’s only eight o’clock in the morning. No normal people are awake at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning.”

“You know Adam and his irritating affinity for waking up at the ass-crack of dawn. After he left to go to the gym, I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“So, you decided that I couldn’t sleep either?”

“Exactly,” I said with a self-satisfied grin. “What are you doing today?”

“I have some work that needs to get done, but that’s about it.”

“Boo. You work too much.” Logan was an attorney at a prestigious law firm downtown, and as a result, he spent way too many hours working.

“Since I doubt you’re going to let me go back to sleep, why don’t you come over and make us breakfast while I work. We can do something afterwards.”

“Okay,” I agreed eagerly. It had been a few days since I had seen Logan, and I was looking forward to spending time with him. I missed his dry humor and effortless charm. Everything always seemed more fun in his company. “Give me a half hour to get ready.”

“Don’t take the L train. It’s too early for that. Take a cab,” Logan commanded.

“Sure, okay,” I replied dismissively before ending the call. Logan had a habit of being too overprotective, thinking that no woman should be taking the L alone during off hours. While I didn’t think he was necessarily wrong, eight o’clock on a Saturday morning was hardly an off-hour. What Logan didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

I took a quick shower and pulled on jeans, a t-shirt and a light sweater. I studied myself critically in the bathroom mirror as I pulled a brush through my long, dark brown hair. My best features were my green eyes, which were large and dominated my face. Besides that, everything else about me was average. Average height, average build, average looks. I knew I was attractive enough, but I would never stop men dead in their tracks. I shook off my wayward thoughts, dismissing them as silly. I knew I was no Victoria’s Secret model, but I wasn’t chopped liver by any means.

I was happy for my sweater when a morning chill greeted me as I left my apartment building. I loved living in Lincoln Park because it felt like a real neighborhood despite being in the city. My spirits lifted as I walked to the L station. Despite the brisk air, the sun was shining, and I knew it would be too warm for my sweater in a few hours.

It wasn’t a long train ride to Logan’s downtown apartment. In stark contrast to Lincoln Park, downtown Chicago was full of tall, sleek buildings and commercial properties. I much preferred the quaintness of my neighborhood.

I waved at the doorman behind the front desk as I made my way to the bank of elevators. I was over at Logan’s apartment so frequently that he had told them not to bother to phone him before letting me up.

When I got to his floor, I rang his doorbell and waited impatiently. He took his sweet time answering, but when he swung open the door, I realized it was because he had just gotten out of the shower.

I gulped and quickly averted my eyes from his bare chest. Droplets of water still clung to his skin, and the towel wrapped around his hips was barely hanging on. I had seen Logan without a shirt before, so I knew how well-defined and muscled his chest was, but I hadn’t been expecting to see it ten inches from my face this morning.

“Ew,” I said, trying to disguise my discomfiture. “Put some clothes on.”

“You got here faster than I thought you would.” Logan stepped back to let me in while he casually re-secured the towel around his waist, seemingly unbothered by my reaction. “You know your way around the kitchen. Give me a few minutes to get some clothes on.”

I watched his broad back as he retreated to his bedroom, trying to banish my feelings of embarrassment. I didn’t know why I had reacted so viscerally to seeing his bare chest. He was more handsome than a person had a right to be, and his muscled body would make any red-blooded woman’s thoughts turn dirty, but I should be immune to his charms by now.

My mind wandered back to the first time I had ever seen him. It had been the beginning of my junior year at the University of Michigan, and he had bumped into me in the student bookstore, making me drop the stack of textbooks I had been precariously balancing. He had apologized with a smile and crouched down to pick them up. I remembered just staring down at him, feeling young and immature as I gaped at how gorgeous he was. His dark blond hair seemed to glint as if it were sun-kissed, despite the harsh fluorescent lights above which shouldn’t have been flattering to anyone. When he looked up to apologize again, his deep blue eyes had turned my insides into mush. I had watched dumbly as he stood up, gracefully unfolding his body to its full length. I had never considered myself short at five-six, but he was tall enough that I had to tilt my head back to meet his gaze.

He had grinned when I had just stood there staring up at him. I had finally managed to mumble a few sentences, telling him it was okay and thanking him for picking up my books. At least, I think that’s what I said to him. I had the same dazed feeling today, watching his retreating back, as I had years ago as a starry-eyed college student.

I hadn’t thought about the first time we had met in a long time, and I shook off the nostalgic memory. Our relationship back then was vastly different from the one we had now, and I much preferred it that way.