Of Love & Regret (Madison & Logan 1)

“Hi, Daniel,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. “I’m assuming Logan isn’t home yet.”

“Mr. Delaney isn’t home yet,” he confirmed with a polite nod of his head.

“Is it possible to let me into his apartment so I can wait there? With his crazy hours, who knows when he’ll get home and I’d hate to wait in the lobby. I can’t seem to get him on his phone. He must be in a meeting.” I didn’t like lying to Daniel since he had always been so nice and friendly to me, but if I was inside Logan’s apartment he would have to talk to me.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Bailey, but I’m not allowed to let guests in when the tenant isn’t home without explicit permission.” He hesitated before continuing to speak, looking uncomfortable. “I’ve also been instructed not to let you up anymore without notifying Mr. Delaney, even when he is home.”

My face flushed in embarrassment. Logan had wasted no time in trying to cut me out of his life. Hadn’t he just told me yesterday that he loved me? Now he wouldn’t even let me past his doorman.

I shrugged, trying to pretend that I wasn’t bothered by what Daniel had told me. “That’s okay. I’ll just wait in the lobby.”

“Wait, Ms. Bailey.”

I turned around, hopeful that he had changed his mind, but it vanished when he set a cardboard box on top of the reception desk.

“Mr. Delaney left this for you.”

I numbly took the box and walked over to the sofas in the front lobby, trying to hide just how close to the breaking point I was. How could everything change so quickly on a dime?

I set the box on top of the table between the sofas and looked inside. It was filled with various miscellaneous belongings, from toiletries to clothes I had left at Logan’s. My heart squeezed painfully when I saw a wallet I had given Logan as a birthday gift long before we had transitioned from just friends to much more. Evidently, he wanted to erase all traces of me from his life. I was starting to doubt whether I could really change his mind.

My spirits sank even lower as time passed by. I felt more pathetic with each pitying look the doorman gave me. Hours went by, and when I checked my watch and saw that it was almost nine o’clock, I realized that this hadn’t been the best idea. I had no idea when Logan would come home, and sitting here in vain waiting for him was killing me.

I had just about given up hope and was getting ready to leave when I saw him walk through the entrance. Except he wasn’t alone. Ella was plastered to his side and he had his arm around her.

I felt sick at the sight of them together. It had never crossed my mind as even a possibility that Logan wouldn’t be alone when he came home. How the hell had everything changed in the span of one day?

I stood up as they approached, feeling foolish and vulnerable. Ella was as gorgeous as I remembered in a sleek dark blue dress that accentuated every perfect curve of her body, but I barely spared her a glance. My attention was focused on Logan and the impassive look on his face.

“What are you doing here?” he asked when they stopped a few feet from me.

“I…” I cleared my throat, trying to sound more authoritative when I spoke again. “I need to talk to you.”

“I said everything I had to say on the phone earlier.”

Anger bubbled up in me. I understood Logan being upset with me, but this was taking it too far. Not only was he parading Ella in front of me but he was being deliberately cruel. Where the hell was the Logan that had been so gentle and sweet with me? We had been much more than our short-lived romantic relationship. He had been my best friend for a year. How could he treat me so coldly?

“Well, I still have some things to say,” I countered, trying to keep the anger from my voice but I wasn’t completely successful.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Go ahead then.”

/> “In private!” I said furiously, glancing at Ella who was watching me with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t have time for this,” Logan replied. “Either say whatever it is you have to say or leave.”

“Logan, why are you doing this?” My anger was rapidly being replaced with a bottomless pit of hurt. “Just give me a chance to talk to you alone!”

“This is getting boring,” Ella said, pressing herself closer to Logan’s side. “Let’s go up. I have plans for us tonight.”

She wrapped her hand around the back of Logan’s neck and pulled his head down close to hers. I wanted to throw up when she pressed her lips against his, kissing him eagerly with no qualms about having an audience. The worst part was when Logan responded to her, pressing her closer to him with his hand on the small of her back.

I had to get out of there before I got physically ill and puked my heart and guts out in front of them. I had been wrong. So wrong. I had stupidly thought Logan had some sort of undying love for me. Sure, he had been patient with me in the past, but now that he was ready to move on, he was doing so with a vengeance. I had thought that if I just told him I loved him, something I had realized with complete clarity earlier today, everything would be fixed. But the Logan before me made me realize that I had never really known him.

Logan’s face was tense but expressionless when he turned to me after he had broken the kiss. A hundred things were going through my mind of what I wanted to say, but in the end I was only able to utter three words.

“I hate you.” I didn’t care that my voice broke when I threw those words at him. All the newly found love I had been carrying for him shattered in an instant, and I had nothing left in me except those three words.

I didn’t wait for his response. I spun around and ran out without the box of my belongings. There was nothing in it that I wanted. I didn’t stop until I found myself blocks from his apartment and out of breath. I was angry that I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. I had been so stupid. I should have taken Logan for his word when he said he was done on the phone earlier. I had laid my feelings out on the line, made myself vulnerable, and I had been punished for it. Never again.