Of Love & Regret (Madison & Logan 1)

“Hey now,” Logan said in an affronted tone, but he was smiling. “Don’t start disparaging my grilling skills before I’ve even tried. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

Their easy banter was grating on my nerves, so I interrupted them. “I’ll have a beer. Any kind is fine.”

Logan left to get two beers after Emily said she’d have one as well. Kristina set the platters of food on the coffee table as Emily and I sat back down. Kristina sat across from us in the smaller loveseat, and I leaned over to take a cracker to have something to do.

“So, you and Logan went to the same college,” Kristina said with an easy smile before taking a sip of her wine.

“That’s right,” I replied, trying to force a natural smile. “But I transferred out of the University of Michigan after my junior year.”

“Logan mentioned that.”

I tensed as I wondered what else Logan had mentioned. Had he told her about Cassie?

“Where did you go to school, Kristina?” Emily asked.

I was grateful that she was guiding the conversation away from my past.

“I went to UCLA. I was born and raised in Southern California, so Chicago is quite a change for me.”

Emily made a face of sympathy. “It’s a good thing you moved here in the summer. It’ll give you some time to acclimate before you have to deal with one of our winters.”

“I told Logan that my love for him is going to face a true test once winter rolls around. He’s going to have to work hard to make up for the snow and cold I’m going to have to face.”

“It’s not that bad,” I said, trying not to grimace at her mention of love. Her critical remarks about Chicago was also grating on my nerves, although I knew it was hypocritical of me since I didn’t exactly love the Chicago winters either. “You get used to it after a while.”

“Is Kristina complaining about the weather again?” Logan interrupted as he came back into the living room. He handed Emily and me a beer, and sat down next to Kristina. I was relieved when he maintained some space between them. I didn’t know if I could stop myself from throwing my beer at them if they started cuddling in front of me. It was bad enough when he smiled affectionately at her. “She keeps telling me I’m going to have to do something big to make up for dragging her away from a place that’s perennially sunny to a city that’s known for frigid winters.”

“I don’t blame her,” I said, trying to suppress my animosity towards Kristina. She hadn’t done anything wrong in this situation. If anything, I should be feeling guilty for what had happened last weekend right under her nose. “You’re a great catch, Logan, but not great enough to give up California weather.”

Logan laughed easily at my joke, and I took a long swallow of my beer. I could keep this up for a couple of hours. I could be friendly and joke around and pretend that seeing Logan with Kristina wasn’t ripping my heart to shreds.

“Did you tell them the good news?” Logan asked Kristina.

“It’s no big deal,” she said, making a face. “I accepted an offer at an agency yesterday, so now I’m gainfully employed.”

“That’s great!” Emily exclaimed. She latched onto the topic and asked Kristina several questions about her new job. I just listened as I drank my beer. I was surprised when I lifted the bottle to my mouth to find that it was the last sip. I didn’t realize I had been drinking so quickly.

“Want another beer?” Logan asked, having noticed that my bottle was now empty.

“Sure.” I only glanced at him briefly and then turned back to Kristina, who had finished talking about her job and was now asking Emily about hers. I wasn’t really listening to them. I was just focused on watching Kristina and trying to see similarities between us.

“What about you, Madison?” she asked, turning to me. I jumped guiltily, having been caught staring at her. I also had no idea what she was asking me.

“Uh,” I stammered, feeling foolish. I made a guess that she was asking me about my job, since that was the topic of conversation, and I decided to go with it. “I write for an online magazine called The Monitor Reports.”

“That sounds so interesting,” she replied. “What type of things do you write about?”

“It varies,” I said, relieved that I had apparently guessed correctly about her question. “I write a weekly column, and I’m fortunate enough to get to pick my own topics.”

I accepted the beer Logan handed me when he came back from the kitchen and took a long sip. He had also brought out a platter of raw hamburger patties and hot dogs.

“I thought I’d get these started on the grill,” he said. “Want to help me?”

He was looking straight at me, and instead of considering whether it was wise to be alone with Logan, I jumped at the opportunity to escape Kristina’s questions, as innocent as they were.

“Sure.” I glanced at Kristina to see if she was bothered that Logan had asked me to help instead of her, but she was already engrossed in a conversation with Emily again. I didn’t miss the look Emily gave me, but I ignored it as I followed Logan out to his expansive balcony that spanned the length of the living room. The balcony was as impeccably decorated as the inside of the apartment with several ornamental plants, an outdoor dining set, and two lounge chairs.

“It’s beautiful up here,” I commented as he closed the balcony door behind us. “This is a step up from your old place, as nice as it was.”