Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan 2)

Logan sighed wearily, looking exhausted. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Let’s go,” Mack said to me. “We’ll let him rest.”

“I’m staying the night,” I replied. “Logan shouldn’t be left alone.”

Mack started to object, but he was cut off by Logan.

“I would prefer to be alone.” He paused, looking uncertain. “I guess you can come back tomorrow though.”

It felt like a knife had been pierced through my heart. I had sat by Logan’s bed for countless hours, praying for him to wake up. Bargaining with God that I would give up anything and everything if only Logan would regain consciousness. I had gotten my wish, but the way he was looking at me now was killing me. His eyes were wary and cautious, as if he couldn’t decide whether I was really someone of importance in his life, or merely a con artist.

“I don’t think you should be alone,” I protested quietly. “I know you don’t remember who I am, but I care about you, Logan. I think I should stay here with you tonight.”

Logan grimaced, looking annoyed. “I’m sorry, but I won’t feel comfortable with you in the room. Please leave.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, willing myself not to cry. I felt raw and exposed by Logan’s rejection of me, but I reminded myself this wasn’t really him talking. I just had to be patient.

“I think it’s best to respect his wishes,” the doctor said. He gave me a reassuring smile. “We’ll check on him around the clock. He’ll be constantly monitored.”

I nodded my head, not knowing what else to say. I picked up my bags and looked at Logan, but his head was already back against the pillow and his eyes were closed. I numbly let go of my bags when Mack took them from me, and followed him out of the room.

“Are you okay?”

I looked at Mack’s concerned face. As much as I wanted to break down, I had leaned on him enough. I needed to stay strong.

“I’m okay,” I said with a wan smile. “It’s a little jarring to realize that the one person you love the most in the world doesn’t know who you are, but I’m sure it’s temporary.” I pressed my lips together, drawing a deep breath. “I know it’s temporary. It has to be. Logan just needs time to regain his memory.”

Mack nodded his head. “I’m sure you’re right.”

I took the ride Mack offered me in his rental car, since the last thing I wanted to deal with now was trying to get a taxi. We didn’t say anything during the car ride except for my directions to my apartment. I was grateful for the lack of conversation, because my emotions were a mess.

When Mack pulled up in front of my apartment, I thanked him for the ride and opened my door.

“Madison,” he said. I turned back and looked at him. He had a serious look on his face. “He’ll get his memory back. Everything will be okay.”

His kindness made me want to burst into tears, but I just nodded my head. “I know,” I said softly. “I have to believe it, because there’s no other alternative I can live with.”

I got out of Mack’s car and walked up the steps to my building. My words reverberated in my head. Logan would regain his memory and we would continue our happy life together. I didn’t think I could exist in a world where that wasn’t true.

Chapter Seven

I barely slept that night. I contemplated taking sleeping pills, but after seeing Logan unconscious, the last thing I wanted to be in was a drug-induced sleep. The first thing I did in the morning was email my boss to let him know that I would be taking a few weeks off due to a personal issue. I had no idea if he would accept this excuse, but my job was low on my priorities at the moment.

I was in a rush in get back to the hospital, so I took a quick shower and threw on some clothes. The instant I walked out into the cold morning air, I regretted not drying my hair, but those were minutes I didn’t want to lose. I felt a sense of urgency, like if I didn’t get to the hospital fast enough, I would lose what little connection I had to Logan.

When I finally arrived at the hospital and got to his room, he was already sitting up and eating breakfast.

“Hi,” I said, feeling awkward. This wasn’t the Logan I knew and loved. I didn’t know how this Logan would react to me being here.

I was relieved when he smiled at me. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”

I walked a little closer until I was a couple of feet from his bed. I struggled for something to say and looked down at his tray. His scrambled eggs looked like they could be used to spackle the walls, and the fruit salad was drowning in syrup. I glanced at Logan with a wry smile. “Breakfast of cham

pions, eh?”

Logan grimaced. “I’m trying to choke it down but it’s pretty hard. I’m dreaming of a Western omelet.”

I felt an ache at his words. Logan always used to say my Western omelets were the best. It hurt to realize that I was the only one with that memory. It was something we no longer shared.