Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan 2)

“Shh,” he said softly. “I’m not going to try anything. Just let me stay here, for my own peace of mind. I can’t handle you being out of my sight right now.”

I didn’t argue. I was too stricken by what I had just witnessed. I didn’t want to be alone. I was scared and depressed.

Neither of us slept. We lay there silently, lost in our own thoughts. Before long, dawn arrived, touching the room with its soft rays. Logan turned on his side, propping his head up on his arm and studying me.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep? You must be tired. I’ll stay awake.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for a long time.” I looked up at him, tears slipping out of my eyes. “I can’t get the image of Cassie’s mother looking at herself in the mirror out of my mind. The pure joy I saw on her face because she truly believed she was with Cassie.” I shuddered. “The way she talked to herself, thinking she was talking to her daughter.”

“She’ll get the help she needs at the hospital,” Logan said gently. “She can get better.”

I sighed, wiping the tears away. “I hope so.” I bit my lip. “Cassie’s suicide letter—what did you think of it?”

“It’s hard for me to say, since I don’t remember her,” Logan admitted. “But it was pretty cryptic. She said a lot without really saying anything.”

“I just can’t tell if she knew about us from the letter,” I whispered. “For so long, I wished she had left a note behind. Even if it had condemned me, at least I would know for sure if she had killed herself because of us. But it just left me feeling more confused.”

Logan brushed my hair off my forehead tenderly. “Whatever she meant in her letter, I can tell she had a lot of love for you. That should ease your mind.”

But it didn’t. I would never be completely at ease until I knew whether or not Cassie had killed herself because of my betrayal.

I heard footsteps in the hallway, so I got up and opened the door a crack. Mr. Brooks looked at me with a grim expression.

“Judith is still sleeping. I’m going to make a phone call.”

I nodded. I knew what that phone call would be.

We didn’t see Mrs. Brooks the rest of the morning because she stayed in her room. Mr. Brooks had made arrangements for her to be transported to the hospital, so we waited on pins and needles for them to arrive. It was mid-afternoon by the time they showed up, wearing uniforms that clearly indicated they were medical staff.

Mr. Brooks went upstairs to get his wife and I braced for whatever was about to happen. I was grateful when she greeted the transport people as if they were welcomed guests. Cassie’s father explained that they were going to the hospital, although he didn’t elaborate that she would be staying there. She went agreeably, her chatter indicating that she thought she was going to visit a sick friend.

I stopped Mr. Brooks before he climbed into the transport van. “Do you want us to follow you to the hospital?”

He shook his head, the deep lines on his face making him look much older. “No. Thank you, but I think it should be just Judith and me. It’s enough that you’re here now.” His expression was full of sorrow. “I don’t want anyone to witness what happens when she realizes she’s not leaving the hospital. I’m preparing for her to have a breakdown. She never would have wanted anyone to see her in that state.”

He climbed into the van and put his arm around his wife, who was talking to the driver about his children, as if this were a social call. I watched the van drive away, feeling both despair and a tiny bit of hope. Maybe this would bring Mrs. Brooks back.

There wasn’t anything left to do except leave for Chicago. I grabbed my stuff, and Logan and I wasted no time getting on the road. I turned the radio on, lapsing into silence. Logan respected my need for quiet and didn’t say anything. We were pretty close to Chicago when I finally spoke.

“Weren’t you supposed to start work today?” I asked. It felt safe to talk about the mundane.

“I can start tomorrow, it’s no big deal.” Logan glanced at me before returning his eyes to the road. “How are you feeling?”

I sighed. “Sad. Confused.” I rubbed my forehead. “Relieved that Cassie’s mother is finally getting the help she needs.”

“What about us?”

“What abou

t us?” I asked, frowning. “There is no us.”

“That’s not true,” Logan said grimly. “I’m not letting you just run away.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at his statement. “I’m not running away. It’s more like I’m being chased away by your lies.” I looked out the window, asking him a question that had been weighing on my mind for a while. “I know you were looking at pictures of you and Kristina a couple of weeks ago. Is that what triggered you to want to be with her? Seeing how happy you guys used to be together?”

Logan’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. His voice was tense. “I thought maybe you had seen that I had looked at those pictures. I just happened to stumble onto them while I was on my computer when I couldn’t sleep. Who wouldn’t look at pictures of themselves? Seeing those pictures made me feel nothing.”

Before I could answer, my phone started to ring. When I looked down to see who was calling, I immediately silenced it. Answering Mack’s call in front of Logan was just asking for trouble. Unfortunately, Logan glanced down and saw the caller ID before I could put my phone away. His jaw tensed.