Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan 2)

“Why is he calling you?”

I bristled at his autocratic tone. “It’s none of your business. We’re no longer together.”

“The hell we’re not.” Logan gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “I told you nothing happened between me and Kristina.”

I made a sound of disbelief. “Oh, silly me. Just because you say nothing happened, I should believe you instead of my own two eyes.”

“It was a set-up,” Logan bit out. “I’ll prove it to you.”

“How exactly will you do that?” I scoffed. “I doubt Kristina is going to just admit to everything. And getting into fist fights isn’t going to endear me to you.”

Logan didn’t respond right away. When he finally spoke, his voice was low. “I went to the Half Pitcher the other night because you weren’t answering your phone and you weren’t answering your door. On the off chance you weren’t at home and not just ignoring me, I decided to try the bar.” He exhaled slowly before continuing. “You don’t know what it did to me to see you with Mack. He was fucking touching you again. I just lost it.”

“For the last time, nothing is going on between me and Mack.” Despite my words, there was no heat in my tone. I was tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again. We were at an impasse. I would never believe him about Kristina and he would never believe there was nothing between me and Mack. What else was there to do except go our separate ways?

I was relieved to see Logan pulling onto my street. I needed to get away from him. Being close to him made me want to forget everything that happened and just be with him. But I knew I could never be happy being with someone who could betray me in the worst way.

Logan stopped the car in front of my apartment. “When will I see you again?” His tone was even, but I could hear the undercurrent of fear in his voice.

“I think it’s a good idea if we spend some time apart. I’m not sure what our future is, if we even have one. Please just give me time. If we’re going to have any sort of chance, I just need some time.”

I wasn’t sure if my last statement was the truth or a lie to get Logan to stop badgering me. I couldn’t fathom getting back together with him after what he had done, but I also couldn’t imagine a life without him.

Logan didn’t look happy, but he nodded. I got out of the car and ran up the steps to my building, not looking back.

Chapter Nineteen

The week went by slowly, at a torturous pace. Logan complied with my request and didn’t contact me, but instead of giving me relief, I became obsessed with wondering if he was with Kristina. I spoke to Mack a few times, but I wanted to keep some distance between us. After his confession about his feelings for me, I didn’t want to do anything to encourage him.

The days were almost tolerable since I had work to occupy me again, but the nights were the hardest. It didn’t help that Emily was swamped with work so she had practically no free time.

When my mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of Logan, I found myself trying to pick apart Cassie’s letter. I had written down as much of it as I could from memory, and I spent hours trying to figure out what exactly she had meant by her words.

The weather had turned even colder now that it was December, and I found myself dreading Christmas. My father was back from his vacation in Florida and I had talked to him on the phone. He sounded so happy that I couldn’t bring myself to tell him everything that had happened. I loved my father, and I knew he would do anything for me, but our relationship had never been close. He mentioned that he was thinking about going to his girlfriend’s family’s house in Indiana for Christmas and wanted to know if I would join them. I had only met his girlfriend a few times, and while I liked her, the last thing I wanted to do was spend the holiday with her extended family. But I didn’t want my reluctance to stop him from spending it with her and her family. He had spent most of his life being a single father with no partner to share his life with. Now that he had found someone, he deserved to have as much happiness in his life as possible.

I lied and told him that I was spending Christmas with Logan. The prospect of spending it alone made me feel glum, but maybe it was for the best. The way I was feeling lately, I doubted I would be in the mood to celebrate.

It was Friday when Emily called. I had just sent my article to my boss, and was wondering what I would do with myself for the rest of the day.

“Hi, stranger,” I said, happy to hear from her. I was hoping she would be able to hang out tonight. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and missed her easy company.

“Guess what?” she exclaimed excitedly. She continued before I had a chance to answer. “Sylvia’s decided to go ahead and open the New York office, and she wants me to help her. I’m moving to New York City!”

I wanted to be excited for her, but I felt a pang of sadness. What would I do without Emily? I gave myself a mental shake. I needed to be a good friend and be happy for her, even if I had to fake it.

“That’s amazing, Emily,” I said enthusiastically. “If anyone deserves this opportunity, it’s you.”

“I thought she was all talk when she mentioned opening a New York office. I had no idea she was really putting the wheels in motion. She’s already booked a few clients there. She wants me to leave tomorrow and stay at a hotel to get started right away. She’s actually paying for movers to pack up my stuff and bring it to New York. She’s even going to pay rent for an apartment for me in New York for the first six months! I just have to find one.”

My stomach dropped. Tomorrow? She was leaving tomorrow?

“Wow, I’m surprised she’s shelling out all of that. She must have finally realized what a rock star employee you are.” I kept my tone upbeat, although I felt like crying.

Emily sighed contentedly. “All that time slaving away for her and putting up with her outrageous demands actually paid off. I can’t believe it.”

“I’m so happy for you but I have to admit I’m sad to see you go. And so soon.”

Emily’s voice turned wistful. “I know. That’s one of the sucky things about it. What am I going to do without my partner in crime?” Her tone turned gloomy. “Another sucky thing is that I can’t take Lola. I can’t have her living a hotel room while I’m working, and I have no idea if I’ll be able to find an apartment that’ll accept dogs.” Her voice became pleading. “Would you consider taking her?”