Devil Said Bang (Sandman Slim 4)

I ride the Hellion hog to the Beat Hotel to change shirts and pick up some gear. I made a mess tonight but I think I’m still following Wild Bill’s advice. Pick and choose your fights. Carlos got shot by someone gunning for me, so this is the fight I pick. I hope the shooter was one of the sons of bitches I dragged Downtown tonight. Maybe I’ll get Semyazeh to send their souls to Wild Bill’s bar and make them lick his floors clean every night for the next thousand years.

Should I call Candy and tell her I’m okay? She’s probably pissed that I sent her away. If I got us both locked up in the Sub Rosa Sing Sing, she’d be pissed about that. If I said forget about your girlfriend and run off with me she’d be pissed in a whole different way. I can’t win. Maybe I should have stayed Downtown. At least people missed me when they thought I was dead. Punching Cairo and morons like him is a lot easier than being a person. I’ll stick to that for a while.

Kasabian has conspicuously not given me a key to Max Overdrive so I jimmy the back door with my knife. Across 110th  Street is playing on the video monitor when I come in. Kasabian quickly closes the browser window on his laptop. Porn is my guess. Maybe something with Brigitte. He’s a little obsessed ever since he found out I know her. He casually sips a beer when I come into the bedroom.

He says, “How’s life back under the big black sun?”

“I almost got killed by a ninja hit squad and I crashed a Sub Rosa synod.”

“So just another night in Wonderland for you.”

“You didn’t tell me Saint James murdered a kid.”

“Oh. That.”

He puts down the beer. Before getting the hellhound’s body Kasabian was just a head. We stuck a bucket under him when he wanted to drink beer or eat. Now he has a hellhound stomach and that’s both good and bad. It’s less messy than emptying the bucket but it means I get to watch the skin sack swell as he fills it with beer and donuts. I don’t want to know how he empties it.

“I didn’t think you’d believe me. Who told you?”

“The four guys who shot up Bamboo House of Dolls and almost killed Carlos.”

“Damn. That’s verging on rude.”

“Tell me you didn’t know there were shooters looking for Saint James. I’ll know if you’re lying.”

“Why the hell would I do something like that?”

“If I was dead, you’d have all the money.”

“I already have all the money. Even I wouldn’t do that shit to you. I might be a bastard but I’m not a complete asshole.”

Kasabian is harder to read than live people. He doesn’t breathe or have a heartbeat. But Lucifer’s senses would catch him in a lie.

“I believe you. This would have been a lot easier if you were trying to get rid of me.”

“I am trying to get rid of you, just not kill you. And thanks for the vote of confidence. You’re back for a day and you’re already starting with the hostile attitude. I’m starting to miss the choirboy.”

I set the duffel bag on the floor.

“Look, I didn’t think it was you but I had to ask. I’ve got something with me that might interest you. A peace offering because looking over my shoulder all the time is giving me cramps.”

“What kind of peace offering?”

“A better look into Hell.”

“And why would I want that exactly?”

“Because I’d pay you for the info.”

“I think we’ve already established that I have all the money.”

“And we both know I could take it back if I really wanted but I’d rather take money from uncool people.”

“Like who?”

“King Cairo for one. I had to spank him in front of an audience tonight.”

Kasabian shakes his head. Nervously taps one of his hellhound claws on the desk.