Devil Said Bang (Sandman Slim 4)

“I knew you freaks would go at it eventually. You two need to get a room and hug it out.”

“Do you want a new superpower or not?”

“How does it work?”

“I’m not a hundred percent sure it will. But I’m guessing since you can already see into Hell this will be like souping up a Camaro with a nitrous injector.”

“Do I have to do anything?”

“Just sit still.”

“If you say ‘trust me,’ I’m climbing out the window.”

“You don’t have to trust me. You just have to not move.”

He flinches when I set the jar of eyes on the desk and mumbles “Oh shit,” when I take one out. He reaches for my arm. I pop out one of his eyes and he freezes. I put in the peeper. When I let go of him he wails like a scalded banshee.

“What did you do to me, you fucking freak? I’m fucking blind. Christ. For one second I let you get near me and this happens. Fuck!”

“Hey, don’t forget who got you that body.”

“And don’t forget who made me need it.”

“Quit whining and tell me what you see.”

“Nothing. You took my eye, you crazy motherfucker.”

“I just swapped it. If this doesn’t work you can have it back. Relax and tell me if you see anything.”

Kasabian sits rigid in his chair with his eyes closed, turning his head from side to side. He holds onto the seat with both hands. His legs pump nervously. Then they stop.

“Oh man.”

“What do you see?”

“All kinds of stuff. It’s like a bee’s eye. Like there’s a million little lenses and each one sees something different.”

“Good. I left peepers all over. That means you can see through a bunch of them. Try to zoom in on one and tell me what you see.”

“It’s like a jail. There’s cells and . . . No. Wait. It’s pens. It’s like a kennel. Oh shit, there are hellhounds.”

“How nice. A family reunion.”

“Shut up. I’m trying to concentrate. I’m in that library of yours. I can see all over inside. The big front doors are open a little and kind of burned. Like someone tried to slip you a hotfoot.”

“Sounds like someone tried to get in after I left and stepped in one of the hexes. That’ll keep busybodies out for a while.”

“Man. I’m on a goddamn guided tour. There’s soldiers and crowds and market stalls.”

“Anything else?”

“I’m low. Like I’m a midget.”

“I gave eyes to some of the hounds. You’re probably seeing through those.”

He nods, smiling for the first time since I got back.

“This is cool. What kind of information do you want? I can’t hear anything.”