But everything with Jenna is different.
“Wow,” she whispers, pushing her hair out of her face and smiling back at me. “That was fun. I should do that more often.”
“You’ll kill me.” I pull out of her, then tug her into my arms so I can kiss her silly. “I didn’t hurt you?”
“You’d never hurt me.”
The faith she has in me is astounding.
“Never on purpose.”
***
“Do you do your own stunts?” Max asks me a few nights later when we’re all having dinner with Luke and Natalie. The girls, and by that I mean Jenna, Natalie, Grace, and Hannah, are chatting in the loft of the biggest tree house where we all gathered this evening.
Jenna had dinner catered by the Italian restaurant in town. I may have gained ten pounds today, and I’ll need to work out extra hard tomorrow to work it off, but I don’t care.
The food is delicious, and the company is excellent.
“Some of them,” I reply and take a sip of wine. I’m with Max, Brad, Jacob, and Luke, and we’re sitting in the living area. “Not the ones that require heights.”
“I’ll do those for you,” Jenna calls from up above and blows me a kiss, making me grin. She’s had a couple of glasses of wine, and she’s fucking adorable.
“Thanks, babe.”
She winks and disappears again.
“Will you be comfortable doing most of the skiing in the movie?” Luke asks me. He hasn’t had much of anything to drink, but I can tell that he’s at ease, enjoying the conversation.
“Definitely. I should have taken it up years ago.”
“You’re a natural,” he agrees. “It was fun joining you during your lessons. Thanks for letting me tag along.”
“No, it was fun to have you. I’m glad you approve.”
He nods, and we listen with half an ear as the other men begin talking about a new business that’s trying to move into town, but how the city council voted it down.
“I like it here,” Luke says softly. “Nat and I discussed the idea of buying a place here for vacations. We have a big family, so it would get used.”
“That would be cool.”
“Jenna’s friends are nice.”
I nod, not saying too much until Luke finally sighs and leans forward.
“You’re stubborn, you know that?”
“I like to think of it as private,” I reply with a smile. “Besides, I agree with you. It’s awesome here.”
“I see what you have here, Christian.”
I can’t reply. I can only swallow hard and watch my wine swirl around my glass. I don’t want to get too comfortable here, no matter how much I love it. “It’s temporary.”
“Join me outside,” Luke says and leads me out onto the balcony. It’s snowing, but it’s unusually warm. There’s no wind.
It’s perfectly quiet.
“Does it have to be temporary?”
I turn to him and frown. “What are you talking about? Of course, it does. My life, my career is in L.A. I’m not ready to retire.”
“I’m not suggesting that,” Luke says with a sigh. “Let me back up. I know I don’t know you well, Christian, but I see a huge difference in you since I saw you a few months ago in Seattle. Whatever has happened here in Montana has been good for you.”
“I won’t deny that.” I watch as a deer walks down the ski slope. “But my life isn’t here, Luke.”
“You can always travel on location. You do most of the time anyway. You live in L.A., but we’re filming the movie in Vancouver.”
I look at him, wondering where he’s going with this.
“There’s nothing that says you can’t be here, with Jenna, in between films.”
“Come on, you know it’s not that easy. Between films are press junkets and appearances. Magazine articles. TV shows. It’s never-ending.”
He sighs. “Don’t let the industry fuck up what you’ve found here, Christian. Because from where I stand, you’ve found something that feeds your soul. And if I’ve learned anything in the amount of time that I’ve been in this business, it’s that it’ll suck the life right out of you if you aren’t careful.”
“How do you do it?” I turn to him and prop my hands on my hips. “You have a beautiful wife, kids, and you live in Seattle. Yet you’re still as relevant in Hollywood as you were ten years ago.”
“I set boundaries,” he says thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. “I left it, not intending to return. It had gutted me. But films are what I’m passionate about, and I eventually learned how to balance it. I don’t do press. I’m only on location for a few days. I don’t act anymore, so there’s that.”
“Until I met Jenna, I would have told you that acting was the best part of my life.”
“And now?”
I sigh. “I just don’t know how I can make it work. But I know that I’m enjoying her, and my time here. I’m honest with her.”