“No, Alec, that’s not going to happen.”
He steps forward, closer to me. “You left him. Why do you still act like you care what he thinks?”
“I do care. No matter what, I will always care. The love I feel can’t be switched off, Alec. It has to learn to live apart.”
“You expect me to do the same?” he asks in disbelief. “For some inexplicable reason you expect me to just turn it off?”
“I don’t claim to know what you feel, Alec. But whatever you do feel, you have felt on your own, so it’s one-sided. You can find someone who loves you the same way you say you love me. You should… no, you can.”
“It’s not that easy,” he says, shaking his head. “I’ve wanted you forever, and knowing you choose him over me…” he clenches his jaw tightly, “… it makes me angry, Squirt. Really. Fucking. Angry.”
“I don’t know how many more times I can apologize for something I’ve had no control over, Alec,” I say in a rush of breath.
“You never tried.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “I can’t try. What are you not understanding? I can’t. Quite simply, he has it all, and I have no more love left to give,” I say on a disillusioned breath.
He steps closer while shaking his head. I feel all of him then, the powerful man that he’s become. I never really saw him like that before, more of a protector, more like a brother.
“You’re brainwashed by him,” he says, then turns and walks away.
I watch his retreating form, unsure of what he meant or what’s happening.
Not long after he leaves, I watch Gunner walk in. His strides are long and purposeful.
“Did he touch you?” he asks while looking me over, touching my arm, turning me around to make sure I don’t have marks on me.
“Gunner, stop touching me.” My pulse quickens with his contact, and when he drops his hand, he simply stares at me.
“You aren’t meant to be near him,” he seethes.
“I’m at work, Gunner.” I wave my hand around. “Not much I can do about people walking into a place of business.”
“You don’t know him like you think you do, Everly. Stay away from him.” He turns to leave and this time it’s me who stops him.
“Are you spying on me?”
He halts. His shoulders sag just a touch, but I notice. His appearance is rough, almost like he hasn’t been sleeping. Turning around, he faces me. “Yes. I will always watch you.”
“That’s just creepy,” I say.
“I love you, Everly.”
I check around, there are people milling about, not even paying attention as we argue it out in public. Our hands are glued to our sides as if we are restraining ourselves from touching each other. It almost feels like I have an invisible rope tied around my waist holding me together, not allowing any movement. Because, believe me, I want to touch him, even against my better judgment.
“Don’t say that,” I say. “You struggled to say it, and now what? Now, it’s easy for you to say?” I ask him in disbelief.
“You wanted it, I’ve given it to you. And now you’re going to argue with me about it?”
“Yes. Dammit! Yes, I am.”
“What do you really want to ask me?” Gunner steps closer.
“Why did you give me my apartment back?”
“I’m not good at letting go, and I’m trying to let you go.”
“Let me go?” I ask, but in a much smaller voice.
“Yes. That is what you want. Correct?”
Shit! His answer shocks me. I didn’t think he would let me go. At all.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He nods then turns and leaves. I watch him go, waiting for him to enter his car and drive off before I remember to walk away.
Staff talk to me, people say hello, but honestly, I have no idea what any of them have said. I sit down in a seat and stay there for most of the day, processing.
He’s letting me go.
I wanted this.
Didn’t I?
I just didn’t expect him to give in to me.
A message pops up on my cell. Actually, several do. I ignore them all and head home.
To my apartment.
The one I now own again.
8
Everly
I don’t see him again, and it’s not as easy as it sounds. The whole thing pains me somewhere deep inside. Who knew you could miss someone you wanted out of your life? How is that even possible? I don’t quite understand it, or my feelings.
Three months have passed within the blink of an eye. I’m still married, the ring sitting firmly on my finger. I haven’t been able to take it off. It was his mother’s, after all, and even if I don’t know the full story behind that, I know she meant something to him.
My days are all the same. I go to work, I head home.
Nothing exciting happens.