She was silent, still tense, but not as bad as before. She picked at a piece of grass, pulling apart the blade. Her voice came out quiet. “And if they try to use me to get whoever they want to get?”
Okay. I had to read between the lines again. She was talking about her job, or I was guessing.
I held her tight against me, lowering my head so my chin was almost grazing the top of her arm and shoulder. “If they try doing that, then they ain’t the ones you want to move forward with. Simple as that.”
She glanced sideways at me, peering a minute before her mouth twitched. “Why does it make so much sense when you say it?”
I chuckled with one last squeeze before I let her go. “It’s my curse. Making shit make sense without the doom and gloom.”
She laughed, but nudged my chest with her elbow. She did it softly, though. “Thanks for coming.” I nodded, all serious now. “For real, though, Bren. I don’t know what’s all going on, but I’d think your brother and father both wouldn’t want you worrying.”
She nodded, straightening and wrapping her arms around her knees. She pulled them to her chest, her head laid on the top of them, as she turned my way. “I think it’s a conscious decision I have to make, not to worry. You know?”
Yeah. I really knew.
Her gaze shifted, growing more alert, and she lifted her head once more. “Is that what you’re doing with Sunday?”
Nope. All my bullshit and hoopla, this was the reason Bren called me and not the others. Studying her, I don’t think she even knew it either.
Sunday.
There was also this damn pinching feeling, just behind my ribs. Didn’t know what it was. Thought a couple times about heading to the doc, but started to realize it only showed when I started thinking about Sunday. When she left my mind, so did the pinching. Now it was back, and I knew the source. That didn’t mean I liked it. It was still annoying.
“Sunday never wanted me full time, not really.”
Bren frowned. Concern darkened her gaze.
I looked away. The pinching just got worse when I saw the pity. I didn’t need to be pitied.
“I don’t know why, to be honest. Not sure if I just wasn’t good enough for her, or if it was something else. I always thought maybe she worried because she wasn’t in our crew, thought maybe why try going the distance if she couldn’t get all the way in? Tried to tell her once it wasn’t like that. I could have a girlfriend and she’d just have an automatic family, but nah. That was in school. She wanted to be popular, she told me later that she couldn’t fully be popular if she was dating me. She needed to date someone like Cross or Jordan.” I looked at her now, and the pinching tripled. Bren’s eyes were filled with concern. She was hurting for me. I added, my voice getting rough, “The leaders, ya know? The pretty boys, too.”
“Zellman,” she breathed out.
“I got it. I did. I’m not a leader, but damned sure if I’m not the guy they want backing them up.”
“Zellman.” She grabbed my arm and leaned in close, almost right in my face. “When did she tell you this?”
The pinching was now piercing me.
I shrugged. “Don’t remember.”
“When?”
I did remember. Just wished I didn’t. “April, I think. Early May.” May 3rd, to be exact.
“She was already pregnant.”
Wait. What?
I frowned at Bren.
She was trying to hold back a grin. Her hand tightened around my arm. “She already knew by then she was pregnant. Drake had broken up with her. She was trying to push you away.”
No…
Could…
Really?
I scooted back. I didn’t know why, but I needed space. Bren let me go, watching me. Her little smile faded, slowly.
“It was always on and off with us.”
“Yeah, because Sunday’s kind of a bitch, but she’s always cared about you. I know that for a fact.”
It hurt too much, thinking the other way. She was pregnant, man. Having another man’s kid, a guy who was also in the pen. A guy who was known to be a snitch, and we all knew it was only a matter of time how long he lasted in there.
That was Sunday’s baby daddy.
“Bren.” My voice broke. I shook my head. “I can’t—she can’t—”
“It’s okay, whatever you’re thinking in your head. You do what you want, what you need, but Sunday’s not with you because you’re not considered alpha enough. That’s ridiculous, and you are a pretty boy, too. We can take a walk on your campus and I know you’ll get five numbers without even trying. That doesn’t happen to not-pretty boys, and you know it.”
Well. Yeah. She had me there.
I never had a problem getting a girl.