I can see how much it hurt her, even if she’s not letting on. Seeing and knowing that Keith hurt her makes me want to tear the guy limb from limb, and it’s what I should have had a right to do, but instead she’s kept me out of the loop. “He didn’t deserve you, Laney Bug. You were always too good for him.”
She gives the same laugh she’s always done when I call her by the nickname I gave her the day we first met in 6th grade. She moves her hand out from under mine and pushes my plate back toward me. “Eat. I promise I’m fine. We’d actually been having problems for a while. I knew I needed to end it, but I kept thinking that I was being too picky and should give him a chance. But I didn’t know that he was cheating on me, not until I actually saw them together. It just moved everything along.”
I want to beat the guy up. I have so many things I can say right now about what a pig the guy is, but I don’t. She doesn’t need to hear it. Not right now. “Do you need to go back and pick up your stuff? Let me go with you. Let me help.”
She lifts a piece of bacon to her mouth and chews it. “Actually, that’s the best part. I packed everything, rented a small U-Haul and brought it back a few days ago. Everything’s done.”
I’m glad it’s over, but there’s some things I just don’t understand. “Why didn’t you call me? I could have come to see you, helped you, been there. Didn’t you trust me to be there for you?”
Laney
Of everything that has happened, this is what I dreaded the most. Even when I was packing up things and loading it up, I knew I should have called Austin. He would have come; I never even questioned it. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And by not calling him, I’ve hurt him. I know I did. “Of course I trust you to be there for me, for anything. You’re my best friend.”
I can see my words don’t make him feel any better. It’s way too vulnerable, but I admit to him, “I was embarrassed. I still am really. I was with him for all the wrong reasons, and even when people I trusted”—I gesture to him—“warned me not to, I still got engaged to him.”
He reaches for me again and this time I let him wrap his hand around mine, lacing our fingers together. “You should never be embarrassed, not when it comes to me. You’ve seen me do all kinds of really stupid things. I want to be there for you. Don’t push me out of your life. That’s stone cold.”
I nod, knowing what he’s saying is true. “Even though it hurt to catch my fiancé cheating, if he’d been the right man for me it would have been devastating and realizing that made it all easier. I mean yeah, the last few weeks sucked, but I’m seriously fine.” I look straight into his eyes, wanting him to see the truth there. “Sometimes people have to go through some things on their own just to prove to themselves that they can,” I tell him, trying to explain it the best way I can.
Austin sighs and I can tell he still doesn’t fully understand all of it, but at least he’s not walking away from me. I know I’ve hurt him by not coming to him. “I’m glad at least that it’s all in the past for you now. Did Keith give you a hard time over the break-up?”
Austin’s rubbing his thumb across my wrist and I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it. I pull my hand away because the feelings that one simple touch is causing are messing with my head. I could say it’s because of everything I’m dealing with right now, but deep down I know it’s not that. “Actually, he was sort of weird about it all. He kept saying this is more like a break than a break-up. The last time I saw him, he said he was going to win me back.” I laugh but Austin doesn’t seem to find it funny at all. “I think he thought I’d stay in the city, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. I’m back where my roots are, where I’ve wanted to be, and I’m not looking back.”
Austin’s jaw flexes and from the years of knowing him, I know he has more he wants to say, but he keeps it to himself.
He’s searching my face, looking for something. Probably if I really am done with Keith or not. But I don’t know how he can question it, because I would never put up with cheating. When he finally seems like he’s got his answer, he says, “Good. I’m glad to hear it. Now that you’re back are you gonna put your degree to work teaching?”