Sunny continued to sleep through our whispered conversation.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Carys said. “She will definitely face challenges a typical kid wouldn’t. But overall, our day-to-day life is the same as if she didn’t have Down’s.” She stared off. “When people ask me, ‘what she has’ or ‘how I feel,’ I tell them she was blessed with an extra chromosome and leave it at that.”
I loved that. I nodded. “Everything is a matter of outlook.”
“That’s right. And I don’t view her as handicapped. Unique, maybe. But not handicapped.” Carys played with some lint on the couch. “They did tell me to expect her speech to be delayed. She started early-intervention services as soon as she was born. Someone comes to the apartment a couple of times a week. She might have to learn sign language before she starts talking, but I’ll take that as it comes. I’ll line up the best speech therapist. I’ll learn everything I can myself. But I already see her trying to communicate with me. Even if the words don’t form as clearly or as quickly as other kids, we’ll manage.”
I’d admired Carys before, but I had even more respect and admiration for her now. This girl is phenomenal. If only every kid with challenges was lucky enough to have a parent like her.
But what she said next broke my heart.
“I think the only time it ever really gets to me is when I’m out and about with her in public. You know how sometimes people see a baby and lean in to get a closer look? Well, some people do that to us. And sometimes, I see their faces go from happy to sympathetic when they realize she looks different. That makes me sad—not sad for me, but sad that people look at her as something unfortunate, something that would warrant a sympathetic look.” Her eyes watered, and she quickly wiped them. “I hate it, Deacon. Sorry. I don’t talk about this stuff often.”
“Thank you for sharing all this with me.” This conversation had changed the way I viewed people with special needs.
She stared into my eyes. “Thank you for not being afraid to ask.”
I looked down at Sunny’s sweet face with a newly acquired sense of hope. “You think it might be worth trying to put her down again?”
“Yeah, I do.”
I carefully lifted myself off the couch. It felt good to stretch my legs and take the pressure off my numb ass and balls.
I followed Carys to the baby’s room, and once again placed Sunny carefully on the mattress. I don’t think I’d ever walked slower in my life than I did leaving that room.
Once back in the living room, Carys said, “You really can go home now.”
“Ah. I can take a hint.”
“Oh, I wasn’t trying to get you to leave, if you want to stay. I’m too wired to fall asleep just yet. I’ll be up for a while. I’m enjoying the adult company.”
It was rare to hang out with a woman without any expectations. I was enjoying her company, too. A lot. Carys was real. I didn’t have to put on the charm or any kind of a front around her. I could just be myself. That felt good.
When she realized I wasn’t rushing out, she looked back toward the kitchen. “Can I get you some…” She hesitated. “Crap, I don’t even know what to offer you. I don’t have alcohol except for these bottles of champagne I never open. I don’t drink too often. And it’s late for coffee. I have hot chocolate?”
I chuckled. “That sounds good, actually. I might’ve chosen that if given the choice between alcohol and hot cocoa.”
I followed her as she walked over to the kitchen. She took a couple packets out of the cupboard and filled a tea kettle with water.
I carefully slid one of her kitchen chairs out and sat down. Although this night hadn’t turned out the way I’d expected, I was content to be here. I wasn’t sure if it was the whole no-expectations thing, but hanging around Carys was very calming. It was nice to just be friends with a woman.
So, you probably shouldn’t stare at her ass as she leans over the stove.
The thin material of her nightgown molded to her butt, giving me too good of a view.
Carys looked back at me. “Shit.”
“What?” Does she have eyes in the back of her head?
“I just realized the tea kettle whistles when it’s ready. I wasn’t thinking. It could wake her up.”
“We can have…warm chocolate?”
She laughed. “I’ll just listen closely and take it off the heat right when it’s about to start.” She leaned her back against the counter and crossed her arms as she waited. “It’s funny all of the things you forego for the sake of not waking up a baby. Some nights I’ll debate for several minutes whether opening a can of seltzer is worth the potential of waking her up.”