Triss just looks at me with wide eyes. I guess she’s still trying to process everything I just told her. She can take her time, but I have to go.
I grab my stuff and walk towards the door.
“Antonio!” Triss grabs my arm. “I don’t understand. Why are you doing this? Why are you leaving? Is it because I lied about my real name? I already told you why I did it. Or is it because you think we’re not married? But I told you my marriage to Jim isn’t valid. I didn’t agree to it.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then why?”
She lets my hand go and clutches the front of her robe. Her head droops and her shoulders tremble.
“Is it because you’re disgusted with me now after what Jim tried to do to me?”
“No. It’s not you. It’s me.”
It’s because my memories have returned. I remember who I am now – someone who she shouldn’t be involved with. She’s already escaped from Jim. I’m not going to drag her through another hell.
“I can’t have you in my life. I know that now.”
I walk to the door and out of it, out of Triss’s life and the life I’ve been pretending to live.
Chapter Twenty-One
Triss
I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the blank TV screen in front of me as I try to put the pieces of my mind back together.
Antonio’s gone? How? It seems like just moments ago when he was willing to take a beating for me. And wasn’t it just yesterday that we were at the park? Wasn’t it just a little over a week ago that we got married?
I look at the gold band on my finger. I take it off and place it on my palm. As the memories of the day Antonio gave it to me come flooding back, I clutch my hand to my chest. Tears sting my eyes.
Why did all this have to happen?
I understand that we had to come to the city to give Lara back. I was trying my best to accept it. But why did Jim have to show up again and ruin everything?
He didn’t hurt me. He didn’t kill Antonio. If Antonio’s right, he’ll never come after me again – something I’m still trying to wrap my head around. Yet he still won.
Jim still won because even though he didn’t break me, I’m broken. Even though he didn’t take me back, I’m still lost. He didn’t take Antonio from me but he’s still gone.
I can’t have you in my life. I know that now.
Antonio’s sad words echo in my head. My shoulders tremble as tears trickle down my cheeks.
Why is it that everyone I love disappears? Why can’t I have something good for once?
I slide down to the floor as I break into a sob. I let the tears fall. They cascade down my cheeks and seep into my robe. One gets caught on my lips and I taste the saltiness of my sorrow.
I cry until the tears run out, until my chest starts to loosen up and I can breathe again. Then I wipe my eyes and my cheeks with the sleeve of my robe.
There. I’ve cried. Now, I have to find a way forward.
I glance behind me and realize Lara has fallen asleep on one of the pillows surrounding her. She seems to be in an awkward position so I arrange her arms and legs. My lips curve into a smile as I stroke her hair.
“You’ve had it rough, too, haven’t you?”
First she was abandoned. Then she was almost kidnapped. Then she was kidnapped. I’m just glad Jim’s companions didn’t hurt her.
And now, she has to be abandoned again. I have to bring her to Ned’s friend. I’m supposed to meet him at ten tomorrow.
I glance at the clock on the nightstand which tells me there are still eight hours until then. Eight hours with Lara until I have to give her back, something I have to do all by myself now.
I touch Lara’s cheek. She smiles in her sleep and my chest brims with warmth.
I don’t know if I can give her back. Now that Antonio is no longer here urging me to do the right thing, holding me up, I’m not sure I can. I don’t even know if I want to do it anymore.
What do I do then? What do I want to do?
As I try to come up with an answer, my gaze travels around the room. It falls on the box that’s on the table. My eyebrows crease. Was that there before?
I walk over to it and open it. My eyes grow wide as I see the cake inside.
The chocolate strawberry cake Sally talked about. Right. I asked Antonio to get some.
I realize I haven’t eaten in hours so I get a slice for myself. Just one bite and I get a burst of magic in my mouth. A shiver goes down my spine.