I ignore her and raise a finger. “You know what? Ryker should just be the CEO and you can be his new assistant. You can try to seduce him, too, but I’m afraid he’s even more of a stickler for the rules than I am.”
“What?”
“Or maybe you prefer Asher? He should be easy for you to seduce. Just wear that red dress you were wearing a few days ago and spread – ”
Stella’s palm crashes against my cheek. It stings.
I’m about to admonish her, but then I see the tears brimming in her eyes. I see the pain in them and mine vanishes.
What am I doing? What am I saying?
I exhale and touch the nape of my neck. “I really am a failure, aren’t I?”
“Like I said…”
“I’m letting Ryker do all the hard work. I made that little boy cry yesterday and now I’ve made you cry.”
She sniffs. “I’m not crying.”
And yet she’s wiping her tears away.
“I’m a bad boss,” I tell her. “I know I’m not supposed to have sex with you and I still did.”
“We both made that mistake.”
“But I’m your boss. And I was the one who invited you to my room. I offered you a drink, but I really wanted to have sex with you.” I shake my head. “I keep getting mad at Asher for toying with women, but I’m no better than he is.”
Stella says nothing.
“You’ve just been putting up with me, haven’t you? You just couldn’t say no to me because I’m your boss.”
“No.”
I lean back and stare at the ceiling. “I bet you just felt sorry for me because I don’t have a life outside of work. Or maybe it’s because I told you about my father’s stupid expectations.”
“That’s not true,” Stella tells me.
I ignore her. “You’re right. I am pathetic. I can’t defy my father. I always put work first. Maybe I’m just doing that because I’m afraid to have a life, because I’m afraid that without the company, I’m nothing.”
“You’re not pathetic.”
“I am nothing. All I am is because of my father, because of the company he handed over to me, because of my brothers who are there to help me, because of people like you who work hard for me.”
“Ethan…”
I place my hand on my forehead and let out a sigh. “No wonder everything’s falling apart right now.”
Stella falls silent. She’s not going to slap me again, is she? Or is she going to punch me this time? I want her to. Now that I’ve realized how foolish and selfish I’ve been, I want to punch myself in the face or hit my head against a wall and…
My thoughts stop in their tracks as I look at Stella. Her chin has dropped, and yet I can see her lips quivering. Fresh pain and fresh tears gloss her eyes.
Great. I’ve made her cry again.
The urge to pull her into my arms hits more heavily now, but I know Stella wouldn’t want that. And I’m done making her do things she doesn’t want. Instead, I tear my gaze away from her as I scratch the back of my head.
“You should go,” I tell her. “I’ve hurt you enough, Stella. If you stay, I’ll just end up hurting you more and you’ll end up hating me more and – ”
I don’t finish because Stella’s lips seal mine. My eyes grow wide.
Didn’t she say she didn’t want this? I’m confused.
Then she runs her fingers tenderly through my hair, the same thing she did yesterday when she was trying to comfort me. Now, I understand. Those last tears were for me.
I gently push her away. “You don’t have to keep feeling sorry for me, Stella. I’m fine.”
She keeps her hands on my shoulders. “I’m not doing this out of pity.”
“Then why?” I ask her.
“I’m your assistant. It’s my job to help you in any way I can.”
Is that what I’ve made her think? I really am an unreliable boss, aren’t I?
I take her hands off me. “You don’t have to do this, Stella. It’s not part of your job to take care of me, not like this.”
“But I want to.” She puts her hands back on my shoulders and straddles my lap. “Just like I wanted to have sex with you all those times. You’ve never made me do anything against my will.”
The determination and the desire in her amber eyes back up her bold declaration.
Fuck. Why is she doing this to me? Didn’t she reject me earlier? Has she changed her mind?
I haven’t. I still want her. And she’s making it nearly impossible for me to push her away.
Still, I try. “You should go, Stella. You’re right. I am drunk. And I’m in a bad mood. If we do this, I can’t promise I’ll be gen – ”
Again, she cuts my sentence off with a kiss. Her lips press firmly against mine as her tongue seeks mine. And finds it. A shiver goes down my spine.